Build A Better Mousetrap Already

To me, this does not say "cute"

There is a mouse that sounds about the size of a cocker spaniel running in the ceiling above my head.  Or, to put it another way, just below the floor of the room where my 2 little girls are sleeping.  What happens if it chews its way out?  Larry may discover just how loudly I can scream.

Stupid rodent. 

And what good is my pest control gigolo if he can't fix this problem, anyway?

Why Jews Shouldn't Go To Church

I made it to church today with the rest of the family.  Sometimes I'm working, sometimes I can't find the dress slacks that fit; but today the stars aligned just right so that I could sit with Larry and the kids and wonder why I hadn't noticed that Susie was wearing athletic socks with her cute little patent leather ballerina flats.

Believe me, Larry NEVER notices stuff like that.  Something to do with that y chromosome, I'm thinking...

Anywhoo, I did okay until the second reading.  Paul, to the Corinthians.  I listened attentively as the lector read aloud:

	The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord;
33	but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife,

And I laughed.  Out loud.  A literal LOL, people - in a completely quiet sanctuary full of fellow parishioners who apparently weren't raised on Borscht Belt marriage humor.

I mean, that was funny, wasn't it?  "How to please his wife..." Ba-da-bum!  That Paul!  He WAS Jewish, you know...

I spent the next 5 minutes snorting into my scarf, while Larry pretended he didn't know me.  I'm betting that next Sunday?  He leaves me home.


[Bible image: St. Cuthbert's]

Waffle Fries - Friend Or Foe?

--- 1 ---

Judging from the comments yesterday, I am not the only one who has issues with losing things down sewer gratings.  I seem to have hit a nerve.  Also, I'm not the first person on earth who has had to replace a cellphone.  Who knew?

--- 2 ---

You know you want some...

We ate 2 meals at ChikFilA today.  Don't get all judge-y on me.  I wasn't about to let some good coupons go to waste.

--- 3 ---

Homemade pizza for lunch, though - with carrots on the side.  Does that balance things out?

--- 4 ---

We had a hair conditioner leak today which was reminiscent of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill.  It is EVERYWHERE.  And the entire vanity cabinet reeks of Floral Essence.  I blame my teenager.  The girl one, that is...

--- 5 ---

Susie, my youngest, has finally learned how to play Dutch Blitz.  Glory, hallelujah,  I will never have to play another boring card game like War again.  And the more we play Dutch Blitz, the more Anna can feel justified in her belief that we practically raised her Amish.

--- 6 ---

Meaning, our 8-year-olds aren't walking around with personal cellphones.  And we don't have cable TV.  The children are, however, allowed to wear zippers.

--- 7 ---

Jennifer would never take her kids to ChikFilA twice in one day.  At least, she'd never admit to it.  For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

[Waffle fries image: NCSU Dining]
[Dutch Blitz cards image: Almost Amish]

I'm A Slow Learner

I've been keeping up with all my favorite blogs every day but not writing here.  You all entertain and amuse me, and I'll just sit here.

No, no, that can't be right.

Anywhoo, I spent my time today trying to replace all the contacts in my cellphone.  My NEW cellphone.  Because the OLD cellphone is lying in a storm drain in a parking lot at our town's shopping center.  The storm drain next to what I used to consider the BEST parking space in the whole lot.

Really, I should have known better - I lost a crochet hook down that same storm drain once.  I swear, it's like I get out of the car and stand there shaking my purse upside down over the sewer grating.  But I don't.  I think there is some sort of magnet down there.

Actually, I almost lost my keys down there once, too.  You'd think I'd park elsewhere, wouldn't you?  But what are the odds?  I thought.  What are the odds that I would drop something else in that VERY SAME SPOT?

Apparently, the odds were pretty good.

7 Quick Takes: Merit Badge Edition

--- 1 ---

Larry took the 2 younger boys skiing with the Boy Scouts.  That means I'm left here with the girls, all by my grown-up self, to sit up late at night and imagine someone is going to break into the house through the basement.  Sometimes I take a break from that and worry that I am going to see a ghost.  And there is always the possibility of another bat invasion...

--- 2 ---

This condo is looking better and better.

My point being, I need to be able to move into a tiny 1-bedroom unhaunted condo on the nights that Larry is gone.  That would suit me just fine.

--- 3 ---

Larry and I managed to have an argument just before he left.  No details need to be repeated here, as it was beyond stupid, as these things tend to be.  But, in that light, I vastly enjoyed Barefoot Foodie's little jeu d'esprit today on the subject of marital spats.

--- 4 ---

I don't know what "jeu d'esprit" means, actually.

--- 5 ---

Oh, look! The boys get a merit badge for skiing.  I'm thinking that no one gives ME merit badges.  I'm pretty sure I've earned a few in the past 2 decades.  Let's see...do they have one for nagging the kids? Knitting? Listening to one's spouse talk about work?

--- 6 ---

There! I just taped up the gaps around the edges of the fireplace insert.  Take that, bats!  And that masking tape sure does look attractive against the white brick fireplace.  Maybe I'll snap a photo and start a home decorating blog.

--- 7 ---

Jennifer doesn't lie awake worrying about bats and burglars.  She just fears scorpions in her slippers.  For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!  In the meantime, I'll be looking up how to get my merit badge for bat infestation prevention.

[floor plan: timeshareorlando]
[skiing image: ecrater]