Wednesday, February 06, 2008

You Can Dress Her Up, But....

I'm having a mild migraine day, and I hate it. I can't focus on anything without feeling like throwing up, I've still gotta amuse the kids, I've still gotta make it through the next 9 hours. When did my life become nothing but an endurance test, anyway?

Susie has a pretty dress on today. Susie has a pretty dress on every day. Because if she doesn't get to wear a pretty dress, she declares her dismay quite loudly, for about an hour. I just cannot withstand that sort of ferocious disappointment right now. Not, and get anything else done.

So she wears her pretty dresses and stands on top of the heating register in the kitchen and watches as her dress balloons out, which makes her giggle. It's a pretty good way to pass the time, actually. Now, if I started doing that, Larry might think my getting a job wouldn't be such a bad idea....you know, just to get me out of the house for a bit. Actually, I'm thinking that might not be such a bad idea; except that then I would have 2 jobs, because the babysitting fairy isn't going to just show up and watch my children and cook our dinner and do the laundry for free while I'm out working.

So, forget it. I'll remain gainfully unemployed, for the time being....

Despite her satisfaction with her wardrobe, Susie peed in her pants twice today. It gets old, you know? I want to take the money I've been spending on diapers for the past 16 and a half years and spend it on me. I'm getting to the age where my upkeep is going to become significantly more expensive, now that my naturally youthful complexion and my girlish figure are fast deserting me. I need to start planning for decent haircuts more than twice a year, and maybe some highlights, and those expensive ultra-spandex slimming swimsuits I see in the Lands End catalogs. And support hose - mustn't forget the support hose. I'm wondering when Larry will ask what the budget item "spouse enhancement" means....

Diapers - more than 16 years' worth of diapers - anyone want to try adding that up? Yikes.

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31 comments:

  1. I hate being sick if I can't REALLY be sick. I want to lie around and moan and eat popsicles, but instead I have to take care of the kids, and take people to school and give people baths. Gah.

    Hope you are feeling better...

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  2. It must be the rain that is comming tomorrow. You know the change in barometric pressure. I have had a migraine today since about noon. My poor kids.

    Can I tell you to KEEP my sanity, I am working at a local KFC until we leave. I NEED to get out of the house and deal with adults. Even if the adults that I deal with act childish and are idiots, its new childish and idiotic acts. Not the same old same old that is my house, LOL.

    And it isn't like I dont have anything else to do during those 34 hours a week - you know like get myself, 7 kids and a house ready to move to another country. Oh no. More stress? not at all, LOL.

    ~Jennifer

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  3. "When did my life become nothing but an endurance test, anyway?"

    So True! I really like this line.

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  4. Ohhh. Migraines and kids. I'm so sorry for you today.

    Um, and all that stuff for you? It goes under MAINTENANCE in the budget. Hubby's don't argue about that, it sounhds like a car thing, and they like that.

    The diapers, I know. I only did ten years, and it was about six too many.

    A job? What's that? :)

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  5. Sixteen years of diapers? I think that requires NEW math.

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  6. We bought diapers for 11 years straight. When our disabled son turned 3 his insurance picked up the diaper tab. I declared loudly to my husband that I would never again buy a pack of diapers as long as I lived. EVER.

    I forgot to order one month and had to run to the store for diapers.

    But I hear you - the cost is astronomical and if anyone adds it up I do NOT want to know.

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  7. It could be worse. Someday, in addition to losing your youthful complexion and girlish figure, you could be peeing your pants. Hope your migrane goes away.

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  8. It did occur to me that I could go straight from buying Pampers to buying Depends, but the thought was too depressing to contemplate for long.

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  9. Important to read carefully: for a moment I thought you were saying that your daughter was still in diapers at 16 years of age. (Considering that my son is only barely potty trained at 4, this sounded like a frighteningly realistic possibility!)

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  10. I've only had 14 years of diapers, but I figured it out cummulatively based on the number of years of overlap and currently, I'm out to 28 with the almost four year old stubbornly refusing to part with his pullups and the two year old eating the M&m's and putting me on ignore. The baby has a year and a half before she's a candidate, so it will be booked, a solid 30 years of diapering when all is possibly said and done --which, and I did the math back at seven kids, comes out to 29,464.

    Oops, there are three to change now, 29,467....

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  11. bubandpie - Perish the thought!

    sherrytex - Yes, that would add 5 or 6 years to my total...thanks for the reminder...

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  12. Diapering a child costs between $1600-2300, depending on how long they are in them. Just multiply that by the number of children and, voila!, you can have your choice of plastic surgery procedures.

    Hope your migraine gets better...

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  13. Gosh - and I was just contemplating good hair and a decent wardrobe. I guess the sky's the limit, though....

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  14. I was going to try not to mention that we're bound to go from buying Pampers to buying Depends, but you saved me from it.

    Love "spouse enhancement." The IRS should make that a deduction.

    Standing over a heat register and letting the air blow up one's skirt sounds pretty relaxing. Wonder if it cures migraines? Migraines are terrible. I get them about once a month, and the only thing that seems to take the edge off for me is Advil Migraine. But I haven't tried any hard drugs, so you never know. Hope you feel better.

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  15. 16 years is a LOT of diapers!

    I hope you're feeling better. I know how migraines suck. Especially when you can't just get into bed and relax.

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  16. I've been out of the diapering years for quite awhile. That's how I can afford "Spouse Enhancement". I'm glad someone finally put a name to all the haircuts, color, pedicures, massages, etc. that I've been spending money on. Spouse Enhancement - love it! Thanks!

    P.S. I found you through my niece, Sue at Navel Gazing.

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  17. Hope your migraine is better. You wrote the post I wanted to write today with a few small changes. I am VERY ready for some ME time. When does that happen again?

    BTW thanks for stopping by my blog, hope to see you again!

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  18. Sounds like you're having a sucky day. I hear what you're saying about the maintenance expenses - every year it's more work and more $$ just to look and feel half decent about myself...sigh.

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  19. Between my sister and I we have diapered 13 bums. What were we thinking? She had a very cute post after her twins were potty trained. She was jumping and clicking her heels. But then she reminded us that the same companies who make the diapers also make the feminine hygiene products, and she has five girls. They get you coming and going!

    Thanks for your helpful suggestions on my blog. I will give them a try. In the blog world, instead of "location, location, location", it's "networking, networking, networking."

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  20. I've been out of the diapering years for awhile so I've been able to spend that money on "Spouse Enhancement". I'm glad someone put a name to all the hair appts, nail and pedi appts and massages that I've spend money on. Spouse Enhancement - I love it!

    P.S. I found you through my niece, Sue, at Naval Gazing.

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  21. Feel well soon, honey.
    I hear you--when we quit diapers and wipes I felt like a wealthy woman. What you spend on kids could make you look like a beauty queen. I have felt the same way--a little wax, a little cut and a proper make up application and my guy would probably think he came home to the wrong wife!

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  22. I can so realate to the diaper thing. I had my six biog kids so close together that sometimes I had three kids in diapers. After a full one year break, we are now going to do the diaper thing all over again. Even when we weren't changing diapers I never noticed the extra money. :(

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  23. The first day I left home after 12 years without a diaper bag in tow felt like the most amazing sense of freedom. How sad is that?

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  24. RC is wearing the last clean diaper in the house. As soon as he's up from his nap, it's off to Babies R Us we go.

    I'm sure there are a few cast off's in the car if I'm desperate. But come on. Do we really want to go there?

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  25. Is it just me, or is anyone else picturing little Susie in a Marilyn Monroe pose? Only it's cute 'cause Susie's little.
    Good luck with the sickness and potty training!

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  26. Migraines suck. I get these really bad tension headaches sometimes, and all I can do is lie down until they go away. I can't imagine dealing with kids while you have a migraine. I hope you feel better soon.

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  27. 16 years of diapers - most of which are Depends, right?

    Migraines and kids go together like macaroni and cheese.

    Get better soon. Those are orders!

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  28. You are so right. Some days (well, MANY days) do feel like an endurance test. How many hours til they are snug in their beds?

    And then the clock starts again the next morning. Agh.

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  29. I don't think you actually want to do the math on the diapers--you could be cruising the Mediterranean with that money!

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  30. I'm not adding that up but I bet it would buy a lot of Spanx.

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