Saturday, February 23, 2008

Fever Dreams

I dreamed Alan Alda got mad at me last night. He was at a party in my house and he kept spilling orange juice on the hardwood floors. When I asked him to please move the orange juice pitcher into the kitchen, he became quite irate. He could not believe I was being such a fusspot about the OJ, and I ended up feeling guilty because, let's face it, Alan Alda seems like a pretty nice guy; if he is mad at me, it must be my fault.

If that all is supposed to mean something, I have no idea what it is.

Maybe that's just what happens when you go to sleep drugged up on Tylenol and Sudafed. Or perhaps I was delirious with fever. All I know is I feel like crap, and the zillion and one things I normally get done on Saturdays are not getting done, which means the coming week is going to be hell. And for some reason, Susie has chosen today of all days to whine a lot in my vicinity. It hurts to hear it. Everything hurts, actually. The mattress hurts. I'm most comfortable curled up into a ball in the corner of the couch, a fact which worries Larry a bit. At one point he said, hopefully, "I think I had this already, a few months ago." Talk about grasping at straws - I've had this already, too - about 20 times over as many years.

But this illness is not the worst we've had, by far, so long as I don't try to swallow. You do realize, don't you, that thinking to yourself, "Don't swallow" practically guarantees that you'll have to do just that? Ow.

It doesn't help that I got that shot yesterday. It turns out it wasn't just for tetanus, but also for diphtheria and pertussis. So now my inner hypochondriac is convinced that this is no ordinary sore throat. It is all I can do not to Google "diphtheria - symptoms" and scare the bejesus out of myself. As it is, I figure I'm going to choke to death any minute.

Can you imagine, Larry thinks I am too dramatic when I'm sick? Why would he say a thing like that? Maybe he's just disappointed. After all, he probably didn't spend the workweek looking forward to a Saturday where he had to watch the kids all day. It could be that he even thought he'd get a few hours to himself over the weekend. As I've said before, irrational optimism does seem to be a trademark of parents of large families. Sort of a protective shield, as it were, from the desperate reality of our situation....

Time to go to bed and try to rest up for tomorrow. Because I don't think I am going to be allowed to be sick two days in a row. It's not in my contract.


  1. I'm pretty sure what you're dealing with is a temporary reaction to the DPT. Kids get it, and in adults (I do believe) it's more pronounced. Hold tight, dear; you'll be fine.

    And you'll be even finer with a generous dose of my personal favorite remedy: Nyquil and mimosas.

  2. no. being sick two day sin a row is NOT in your contract! hope you get some rest and are feeling better...

  3. Being sick sucks - I hope you feel better soon!

  4. I had that reaction to my last tetanus shot. I had never had it before & could not figure out what was going on. Feel better soon. I'm sure it beats lockjaw!

  5. It is all I can do not to Google "diphtheria - symptoms" and scare the bejesus out of myself. As it is, I figure I'm going to choke to death any minute

    I choked on my iced-tea reading that. That is SOOO something I would do, lol!

    I'd go take a hot, relaxing bath, crawl into some comfy jammies and put myself to bed early if I were you. Some good, sound sleep does the body good.

    Hope you're feeling better soon!

  6. I hope you feel better soon! And I think Alan Alda was waaaaay out of line.


    PS: Warm weather in Norway in February means not freezing temperatures (1 C) and no need for big bulky jackets if you're 11 and C-O-O-L.

  7. oh you poor thing - you sound terrible (i know that doesn't help matters)!

    my advice: if at all possible, just go to bed and try and sleep it off!!

    hope you feel better soon :)

  8. p.s that dream was hilarious! i have weird dream slike that too (although alan alda has never appeared in one of mine lol)

  9. Ah, feel better soon!

    I too was feeling like you. Your probably picked up a Flu virus from your doctor's office.

    Peetrie Dish that it is.

  10. I always think it's the worst when mom gets sick. I DO have a philosophy on how to make a sore throat get better. (This is just my thought.) Breath with your mouth open. It allows more air on it. Doesn't bacteria love warm, dark, and wet places to grow? I swear it helps me.

  11. I hope you're feeling better soon! I'm not sure who wrote the contract, but they seriously need to hold the job for a day.

  12. Alan Alda? Perhaps you are really hoping there will be a MASH reunion movie on soon.

    Feel better soon!

  13. You need a whine-free perimeter around you. And maybe Alan Alda shouldn't be allowed in it, either (not a very careful houseguest, is he?)

    No, that 2nd day probably isn't in your contract. Is it too late to negotiate that? (for all of us?)

    Feel better...

  14. I'm going to have to side with Alan Alda on the OJ. He is too much a of gent to be a cad.

    I do hope you feel better soon.

  15. Hope you are feeling better soon.
    Excellent dream, by the way!

  16. I hope you spent that extra day on the couch. What's he gonna do? Fire you? Feel better.