Sunday, June 20, 2010

Mulch Ado About Nothing

LET ME EXPLAIN: I am not giving Larry mulch for Father's Day so that he will spread it in the yard and make me happy. That would be a nasty trick, akin to his giving me lingerie fit for a trollop because....well, I don't have to explain that one, do I? No, I bought the mulch as part of a bigger plan: we all worked on the yard while Larry wasn't here - weeding, raking, and mulching - so he won't have to.

Needless to say, the children weren't thrilled with this idea. They would have much preferred to present Larry with our usual Father's Day gift - a bag of cherry-cordial-filled Hershey's kisses that he then shares with them. (Every family has its traditions. Ours are just more boring than most.) But I've decided that, starting with Father's Day, this will be the year of giving selflessly. I do hope the children catch on to this concept quickly, seeing as how my birthday is on Monday.

And how much do I hate sharing my birthday weekend with Father's Day? I've been feeling resentful all week, actually. There's your damn mulch, all right? Now leave me alone while I psyche myself up for my big day. I've got plans to make. Currently they involve getting up early enough to sneak out of the house so that I do not have to tell one single person what to do all day.

Yes, that's my dream - I want 24 hours where I issue no orders, make no requests, threaten no small children. I want a full day where I can simply exist. Oooh, I get the shivers just thinking about it. All I asked for from Larry was that he take the day off on my birthday so that I could try to implement this crazy scheme.

Tilting at windmills, I know...

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17 comments:

  1. A day to oneself is beautiful. But then you get spoiled and want two, three, nay, even a week!

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  2. Go Kid, Go! Happy Bday and Happy Fathers Day, Larry!

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  3. So where are you hiding from the children on Monday? I mean where are sneaking off to early in the am? Curious minds want to know! And happy birthday!

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  4. First of all, I hope you have a truly fabulous birthday tomorrow!!! Here in my house, we make a BIG DEAL out of birthdays, including (especially?) mine, so everyone has the opportunity to feel really special on their day.

    As for Father's Day, we don't celebrate it, nor do we celebrate Mother's Day. We'll call our respective parents, but we don't send them cards or gifts. Here at home, we don't do anything special for each other and it's just a normal Sunday for us.

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  5. Happy Birthday! I too, cherished the idea of a day with no one asking me a million questions. Go for it!

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  6. I TOTALLY understand the allure of not telling anyone what to do for a day.

    So where are you going to go? What will you do? Will there be cake? Will your house be cleaned from top to bottom by the time you arrive back home?

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  7. Ha! I am cleaning the house right now, Jennifer Jo, so that I can enjoy it tomorrow.

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  8. One of my friends has four delightful (grown) sons and an equally great hubby. A few years ago, she asked for and got "a day with no questions". She loved it, and she said that the guys found it most instructive...

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  9. GO ahead and dream the impossible dream. You have to dream it before you get it, right? Have a wonderful birthday.

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  10. Your birthday plans sound wonderful! Giving the gift of experiences is clutter-free and that sounds like quite the experience!

    I think starting the year of giving selflessly is a terrific idea. Maybe it will catch on and become commonplace?

    I bought my husband a digital volt meter (because he needed a new one - his old v.m. went belly-up) ...but I forgot to wrap it up and give it to him!

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  11. Happy Birthday! And good luck with the plan. And fellow commenters? SC's plans have to be secret until it's over, otherwise Larry or the kids could look on the blog and find out where she is!

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  12. You are so very thoughtful to Larry. It's only fair that he now focuses on you, you, you!

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  13. My husband's birthday always falls around Mother's Day. This was never a big deal until I started hearing what OTHER people did for Mother's day, at which point I started to feel somewhat gypped.
    I should probably stop talking to other people, eh?

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  14. My birthday's today... we got one day between to transition from Father's Day to my birthday... which, of course, I immediately claimed as my pre-birthday, birthday.

    Naturally.

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  15. ack, that wasn't finished.

    I was going to suggest that you claim the entire week as your birthday extravaganza. Why not?

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  16. My mom's birthday is June 20 which frequently falls on Father's Day - we always try to make sure she feels celebrated, too.

    And the questions thing - I totally get.

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  17. Happy B-day! Hope you were able to sneak out. Funny, I get resentful about father's day, and it has nothing to do with my birthday but more because I'm selfish. :)

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