Friday, June 04, 2010

Art Linkletter Was Right

Today? Was the moment of truth.

90 degrees


Nothing to do

"Let's go to the pool!" the bored children cried. And, realizing that delaying yet another week would not make me any thinner or the varicose veins on my legs any less prominent, I said, "Okay! Let's go!" with an enthusiasm that I believe bordered on the heroic.

I proceeded to pack up towels, locate the sunscreen, order the children into swimsuits, and accomplish all the other myriad tasks required for an aquatic pilgrimage with kids. At one point during this flurry of activity, Susie walked into my room. "Are we going yet?" she asked.

"Pretty soon, sweetie - I just have to get changed myself," I told her.

"Yes," Susie said, in a sage tone not usually employed by a 5-year-old, a tone replete with an appreciation of the challenges of middle age. "You have to try and squeeze into your swimsuit.", that's one way to put it. I just didn't think the effort was that noticeable. I mean, the squeezing part....

I guess kids do say the darndest things.

[Fat Lady image credit: Lost in Suburbia]


  1. My font sizes won't behave up there. I don't mean to shout at the end...

  2. And if she were at my house? She'd be absolutely right.

  3. If there's any spandex in the suits at all, even little kids need to squeeze into them.

  4. Oh, I think I would have shouted.

  5. My mom injured her elbow (a "tennis" elbow injury) while trying on a slenderizing suit. She was in pain for years afterward. She quit going to the pool. And you know what? She actually looked damned good for her age.

  6. AnonymousJune 05, 2010

    Ha! Reminds me of one of my first graders who once asked me if I'm "skinny or fat?" Because it was "kinda hard to tell...." So funny! Of course, I wrote about it. :)

  7. I have stopped squeezing into suits. I just bring a book and tell the kids to go swim by themselves.

  8. First I need a royalty charge for you using a cartoon of me in my bathing suit... ;)

    I'll share this clothes shopping experience with you that I had with my daughters and Mom once years ago. Keep in mind I am a 'fluffy' gal and shop in the 'Women's' section. And scene:

    Me, the girls and Mom are looking through the racks at Penney's.

    Daughter #2: Hey Mom what size do you wear?
    Me: Um....
    Daughter #1: Hey Mom what does the W stand for next to the sizes?
    *and before I could say Women's....
    Daughter #2: That stands for Wide.

    Which is why some species eat their young.

  9. AnonymousJune 05, 2010

    "Aquatic pilgramage" - well put. It does take SO much effort getting out the door.

    And how DARE kids notice our flaws and struggles? Can't we remain perfect in their eyes forever?

  10. I'm still wearing a maternity suit I made years ago. I guess I should attempt to lose the 30 pounds from #9 and 10? But the cookies taste so good. LOL.

    Is it a bad thing when the emergency/fire lights start blinking in your office, but there are no sirens? Security says it is a test...

  11. Wow, I just remembered when I was so young my swimsuit was baggy. Now it's my birthday suit.

  12. Your cartoon is a little off: my suit is black.
    I put it on last Sunday (a week ago). It took me almost 5 minutes to squeeze into it, which of course reminded me why I hadn't worn it in 2 years.

  13. AnonymousJune 07, 2010

    Don't you just want to pinch her cheeks? REALLY pinch them? Because she's cute, of course...