Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Wherein A Leopard Fails To Change Its Spots

Aeons ago (in blog time), I won a $25 gift card to Beauty.com from Married To My Sugar Daddy.  I was really excited to win it, too.  I thought, "It's about time I paid some attention to this make-up thing.  After all, I'm not getting any younger."

Let's digress here.  I have reached the august age of 48 without ever having worn make-up (aside from that BonneBell lip gloss stuff in 7th grade).  I cannot explain this phenomenon.  I mean, I know I can definitely use some make-up.  Something to accentuate my eyes and my cheekbones, say, in a desperate bid to draw attention away from the sagging lower half of my face....that would be nice.  I opened the catalog that came with the gift card.  Let's see...eye liner?  Mascara?  Some of whatever it is women rub on their cheekbones? 

Picture, if you will, a monkey let loose in an Anthropologie store.  I could make neither heads nor tails of what I was looking at, though I was fascinated by all of it.  I thought about ordering some things anyway and begging a friend to help me use it.  But the more I looked, the more confused I got.  So many varieties and colors!  Pretty ladies!  Lips! BIG lips! (insert puzzled chimp sounds here)  I put down the catalog, planning to return to it later.

I never did.  Perhaps at some point I will go up to some lovely make-up lady at the cosmetics counter in a department store and beg for help.  Someday, that is, when I can overcome the fear that the girl will either laugh at me or immediately commence yanking out my extra eyebrow hairs (of which there are many)....in the meantime, you, dear readers, have a chance to benefit.  This gift card will go to some lucky reader, preferably a woman with a higher make-up IQ than me. I know!  A giveaway!  Just like the Pioneer Woman!

Only, instead of a 1 in 25,000 chance of winning, your odds are more like 1 in 20.  How great is that?  Just leave a comment below to be eligible.  Remember - you've got to be in it to win it!


[makeover image: beauty makeup tips]




Pin It

29 comments:

  1. I love your blog, you make me laugh. The kind of laugh that is true, real, and kinda ugly looking (think squirting milk out the nose). I wear make-up but barely and would really like to learn how to make those smoky eyes or how to apply eye liner without it looking like my 7 year old did it. And how, how, HOW do you get lipstick to stay on longer than ten minutes? Help me, Suburban Correspondent!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gosh, I'd hate not to enter... but I have a feeling my make-up IQ isn't much higher than yours. I *have* worn make-up, but not regularly since 9th grade (1989)...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm going to feel like a real loser if I only net 5 or so comments here...like having a party and no one shows up...

    ReplyDelete
  4. HA! I too, at the lovely age of 31, have never worn more than lip gloss and mascara on my wedding day. Every time I put on makeup I feel like a floosie, but all of my friends even wear it to church, so that can't be the case! :p Perhaps if I updated my makeup box a bit (13 year old compacts and eyeshadows from my last try) it may finally become part of my day.... more likely I'll get a bottle of sunscreen though. :p

    freechance@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I L-O-V-E makeup and love learning new techniques. And, I am definitely in the need for some as my daughter asked why I don't wear eye shadow just this morning. Um... I apply it every day!
    Denise

    ReplyDelete
  6. do not enter me, because i am just like you - i never learned how to be a real girl and just don't do make-up. but i do appreciate knowing that i'm not alone!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Isn't your teenage daughter willing to give you all sorts of helpful advice? I know mine is. She wants to dye my hair too, to cover up the gray. She is SO thoughtful that way. Not, however, in a "cleaning up after herself way". I could probably use some makeup, is what I'm saying.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Me me me!!! Long time stalker, first time commenter who wants to win!

    Abby.jensen11@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. The chimp sounds: I HEARD THEM!

    My face paint IQ's not high, but I think it might be a little higher than yours.

    Signed,
    A faithful eye liner and mascara wearing girl.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is the perfect giveaway for me... I use makeup and I'm CHEAP, uh, I mean frugal!

    Plus, if I won I could tell my husband "It's from that blog from that woman whose daughter taught her friends and their American girl dolls to play poker," and he would know exactly who I was talking about!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love makeup! This would be super fun. I'll have to keep my fingers crossed!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Add me to the long time stalker, first time commenter group!
    And I'd love to win! I love makeup and hair goodies and all that girlie stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I looooove makeup. This giveaway has my name all over it. There are some great youtube vidoes on doing makeup; Don't be scared!

    ReplyDelete
  14. i'd love to win the gift card (i would actually give it away to a sweet teenager who turns 14 in september). pick me, pick me PLEEEEEEAAAAASE!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Donna in ElyAugust 16, 2011

    Same type of leopard here!!!Somehow I raised a female cub that loves makeup. Don't know how that happened but she would love the gift card.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Okay, here I am...entering....I really like the 1 in 20 odds! ; )

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oooh, how fun! Thanks for the chance.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oooh! I must admit I do love makeup, but I keep it pretty simple due to that whole budget thing I've got going. Also, my Arab friend wants to give me a makeover, and I want to have some stuff on hand. Pick me, oh gods of random number generators ;)

    ANd I suspect you look good w/o makeup which is more than I can say.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I love nothing more than giving a makeover--if/when we meet I'd love to "do your face." Makeup was something my mother taught me (never wear too much) and I have taught my daughter--though I do go without more frequently than I used to when I was younger.

    ReplyDelete
  20. You should try starting with sparkles and greasepaint. S'what I wear.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I like wearing makeup, but I rarely do - too much trouble and it seems with three kids,there are more important things to accomplish in the morning. So I no longer buy, and whatever I have is probably in the dire need of tossing. So i'll enter. Maybe winning will give me that extra kick to wear makeup more often.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I have to wear makeup now for the job. Although I"ll admit sometimes I just say "nope" and go natural. But my natural doesn't look as good as your natural :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I feel like such a fraud since all I ever do is lurk. And, I don't have kids, mice, or vomit. I did have mice once but that was six years and almost as many apartments ago. I'm also a poor grad student and about to get married on a poor grad school budget. I'd love to have something pretty and frivolous! But only if its ok for me to be in the uk...

    ReplyDelete
  24. a post for the makeup challenged??? count me in!!! i've dabbled in makeup off and on throughout my 39 years and i STILL end up looking like a kid playing dress up!!! but there's hope right??? thanks for a fun giveaway!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Don't pick me. I'm only commenting because your post sounds so much like when I decided about six months ago and splurge and buy myself some makeup. After agonizing for what seemed like hours, I bought some cleanser and moisturizer.

    ReplyDelete
  26. You could have used the gift card for bath oils, soap, or some such . . .

    ReplyDelete
  27. mmm, I loved those lip smackers.

    I don't want you to enter me in the drawing, I have makeup I don't use much of already.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. @Anonymous - I'm sensitive to so many scents that I have to stick with what I know as far as soap, shampoo, etc., goes. I'm pretty much an Ivory girl. And my poor teen daughter is forbidden to use perfume in the house, for the same reason. No wonder she hates me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I wear makeup most every day. But enter me anyway. I like free stuff!

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin