As any of you experienced parents out there know, our story didn't end with getting the toddler to bed at 10:30 last night (by whacking her over the head with a rubber mallet). No sirree, Bob! (I've always wanted to write that.) She woke up at her usual time this morning, which meant that by about 4:30 this afternoon (because of course I wasn't going to let her nap), she was a sleep-crazed little animal who was simultaneously screaming to be put to bed and refusing to let me touch her. It was very sad. She finally yelled herself to sleep a little after 5, before I could get any dinner down her. Which means, of course, that she will be up at 2 or 3 in the morning, hungry as all get out. This is known as the messed-up-sleep-routine domino effect, and it takes a few days to blow itself out. Like a hurricane, only less fun.
Those of you who are still childless can avoid this problem by getting yourselves fixed and only adopting a child who is 4 years or older. This solution may strike some of you as being a tad draconian, but such desperate measures are definitely warranted if you entertain any hopes of remaining sane through your declining years. Take it from me, chronic sleep deprivation can really mess with your brain cells.
Enough already! Things aren't all bad. I managed to escape this evening and go to a friend's house for a Pampered Chef party. (Yes, that is how I socialize, and yes, I am the middle-aged suburbanite loser I had sworn never to become.) I had a great time. I drank so much Diet Pepsi, I'm surprised my friends let me drive home (let's face it - after all those pregnancies, I just don't hold my urine the way I used to). But I managed to drive all the way back to my house without peeing in the car; I even got a little bit of mental exercise listening to some talking heads on the radio pontificating over the implications of our prolonged drought. The discussion may have been irrelevant, considering I was driving through a torrential downpour.
I know, I know - you all want to hear about Anna, the teenage girl from heck. Well, I took her to Target today; so she is actually talking to me again. I don't expect that to last, but it is providing a nice respite from the hostilities. She also made us apple pie. So things aren't all bad.
Well, time to get to bed before Susie wakes up looking for the dinner she missed. Ah, to sleep, perchance to dream....
Diet Pepsi...mmmm...you really know how to party, girl!
ReplyDeleteSorry about the sleep routine. Yes, I know it well. Your adoptation suggestion is sage advice.
Glad to hear about the - temporary - thaw in relations. I really wish we had Target in Canada and/or Norway. It seems to be a cure-all, a wonder-drug.
- Heidi
It sounds like we party the same way, LMAO. Diet Pepsi and free food at a Pampered Chef party - really is there any other reason to go to/host your own party other than the free food, LOL. I hope that she slept through the night and got up at a better time, and that the whole sleep cycle is now fixing itself.
ReplyDeleteYUMM apple pie. I ahve been craving a peanut butter and chocolate covered funnel cake, but apple pie sounds just as good - as long as its nice and warm fresh from the oven, LOL.
~Jennifer
Hooray for apple pie! Oh and of course Anna being civil :)
ReplyDeleteNothing better than driving all the way home and praying you don't pee yourself. BTDT!! Ahhhh the life of a mom, can't beat it.
http://momoftheyear-not.blogspot.com/
Diet Pepsi? Diet Pepsi? What kind of Nazi party was this?!
ReplyDeleteThe party was fine, MadMad - it was just me. If I drank anything alcoholic at that hour, I would have fallen asleep. I needed the caffeine.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how your level of expectation of the ideal "night out" goes down to nothing? Years ago, you couldn't have paid me enough to frequent these parties...unless if one of my sisters was hosting one, then I was left with no choice! You need sisters on your good side or forget EVER getting favors out of anyone! Now, I will especially go to Pampered Chef because not only do you get to see many of your friends in one shot, similar to killing many birds with one stone, you get FREE FOOD! And good free food!!!
ReplyDeleteTrue - the food was excellent. But then, anything is better than the slop I dish up, night after night after blessed night.
ReplyDeleteOh, girl I FEEL your pain ;)
ReplyDeleteJust found you from Just Another Manic Mommy, which is appropriate because I am a Manic Mommy too!
ReplyDeleteSIX KIDS!!! WHoa... you win!
Looking forward to reading more of your blog. Have you read BECAUSE I SAID SO? She's got six kids too.
I remember that. Am I ever glad we are past the toddler stage, but now we're getting into adolescence, which I'm sure will be much worse.
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is a Mommy Blogger who hasn't read Because I Said So, at this point! What, she gets 30 or 40 thousand hits a day? I saw her on the video clip from some TV appearance, and I love her - she looks totally normal. (I think I was fearing that, in addition to having 6 kids and being really funny, she would look extremely skinny and hip, also.)
ReplyDeleteAnd, Theresa - that's right; you are absolutely correct.
ReplyDeleteHa. I went to a Pampered Chef party last month just for the sake of getting out of the damn house. Did you get anything? I went for the cheese grater with the attachable measuring cup. It rocks.
ReplyDeleteNext one, garlic press.
You did better driving home than my kids did last night. It was #3's birthday and his grandparents (not my mom and dad, so in-laws) took us all out to a Japanese steak house, chopping shrimp and flying knives, for dinner. Anyway, I ended up driving the car with all the kids. All the kids who had to pee all the way home. I ended up sending them into Starbucks to pee. Too bad you didn't do that...then you could have been really caffinated up!
ReplyDeleteI too look forward to Pampered Chef just to get out.
ReplyDeleteWe also had the 1:30 and 4:30 wake up call - HRH is coughing like a seal. RC lost his blanket and took off his feety pajamas then woke up cold - go figure?
Sleep deprivation is Hell. Now I think about putting a newborn into that gumbo and hit MYSELF over the head with a mallet (no sirree bob - well, maybe).
I have totally enjoyed your blog!
ReplyDeleteGosh, I thought I was the only one who let their potatoes rot underneath the sink!!!! I have this total phobia of potatoes with roots growing on them. Yes, I'm a complete weirdo. Maybe I think if I just forget about them, they'll go away! HA!
Any tips on potty training???
So did she sleep all night long? I so would have taken the apple pie too, LOL, although I wouldn't want to be responsible for making your kids cry, LOL. (but that might make for an interesting blog... hmmm did you think of that? LOL)
ReplyDeleteIf you have read my blog, you should know - I am the last person on this earth that you should ask for tips on potty training.
ReplyDeleteYeah, potatoes with the roots growing creep me out also. I'm convinced they'll grow and grow and come strangle me in my sleep.
I thought I commented on this post already - I must be losing my mind. (Not difficult.) I never let my children take naps, because then they are up till midnight. They usually go to bed at 6:30, and they have since they were born.
ReplyDeleteI still have not figured out how to use my Pampered Chef can opener.
Adopt a 4-year old. That's BRILLIANT!! Especially if they are already potty trained!!
ReplyDeleteI'm currently trying to potty train our triplets (the girls are getting it much better than our boy) while also trying to get our 3-month old to sleep through the night. I'm so tired I can't see straight.
I'm also sick of potatoes. My husband bought a 30-lb bag of them at Costco last month. Sadly, the kids won't eat potatoes. Now we have to come up with recipes to eat all these potatoes before they rot. I feel like Bubba from Forrest Gump. "You got your hashbrowned potatoes, french fried potatoes, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, au gratin potatoes and potato skins. Then you got your stews and casseroles with potatoes..."