Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Why I Am Happy Today

Way back when Larry and I first got married, we (very quickly) realized there was no way we could collaborate on balancing a checkbook (or on anything else for that matter) (um, aside from the obvious). So I took over the finances and handily saw us through some very lean times. I paid all the bills, oversaw the food budget, bought the clothes...In short, I was the family CFO. But after 10 years of superb financial management, we acquired something new - dental insurance.

What can I say? That insurance company brought this financial maven to her knees. And Larry didn't have a clue until he noticed letters from that nefarious organization piling up unopened. We started having conversations like this:

What's this? he'd ask, waving a fistful of sealed envelopes.
Oh, I don't know, I'd say, vaguely.
Shouldn't you open them?
No! No, don't do that! It's...it's...horrible...I pay them and I pay them...
Maybe you should call someone and straighten things out.
I tried! The baby cried during the voicemail options and I had to call again, and then another kid fell and bumped her head, and...and... it's just not worth it. It just has to go away.

So, manly man that he is, Larry called and figured things out and impressed me so much with his financial savoir-faire that I dumped all the household finances in his lap. Now he does the macro and I do the micro (food, clothing, yarn) and everyone is happy, happy, happy.

Or we were, until about a year ago, when we had to switch to a new dental insurance...

Things were okay at first; but then I noticed dental claim forms piling up around the house. I did my best to ignore the threatening stacks of paper, although I couldn't help but fear that Larry's financial management skills would be felled by the same monster as had cut me down in my fiscal prime. And then who would manage the family finances?

Anna, maybe? But, no - she would just sign all the paychecks directly over to Kohl's. I started imagining us all homeless and hungry, but well dressed.

Well, disaster, I am glad to say, has been averted. Larry, after 2 and a half hours on the phone this morning with 2 dental offices and 3 (count them, three) insurance companies, emerged smiling and victorious. And now we won't be forced to live in our van in the Kohl's parking lot.

The End (I hope)


  1. Uhm...what do you mean "aside from the obvious"? :)

  2. congratulations? :P

  3. Better the Kohl's parking lot than the dentist's chair, no?

  4. It's never the end with insurance companies. The bills just won't die. Ever.

  5. Bravo!
    Mr. D & I divvy up the macro and micro economics. He's all about the rates and compiling and whatnot. I'm all about the best bargain on Old Navy t-shirts (in Feb. BTW) so it does work.

    Oy, that insurance stuff never fails to astound. Sadly, Mr. D leaves that end to ME.

    Heh, I picture Anna "handling" your finances. V. Funny.

  6. I'm waiting for my husband's company to realize we actually have awesome dental insurance, and change it to something as crappy as our health insurance. (I just really, really hope they don't catch on until AFTER all the kids have had braces.) We deserve good dental, though. Our health insurance is abysmal. I'm the one who keeps up on that. Years of my life spent talking to "customer service representatives." Who usually end up agreeing with me that the insurance is awful (and who often don't know the details of the plan as well as I do).

  7. Better to live in your van in the Kohl's parking lot than in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!

  8. I so hate dealing with the insurance company. It once took me three months to get speech and OT services for my kid for the summer. By the time we got it approved, the summer was over. Talk about pissed.

    NBC evening news is doing series of articles this week on women and money. It's nothing we didn't already know. Women manage the money, women teach their daughters to do the same, women's health insurance costs more than twice men's. WHAT?! Tune in for more...

  9. Horray for phone wielding husbands willing to haggle. My hubby and I switch turns taking care of finances whenever the other burn out on them. Darn it's my turn to take over.

    I hate dealing with insurance messes. It seems we've got to again and I'm not looking forward to it.

    ? - What is an appropriate reward for said husbands keeping us from living out of the van?

  10. Insurance companies drive me bonkers!
    Living in your van in the parking lot at Kohl's would be worse than say, living in your van down by the river. LOL!!

  11. I hate being the CFO!

  12. I am impressed--it seems he may have been able to talk with real live people in his effort to sort out the labyrinthine world of insurance phone system, single-handedly designed to keep people from talking to....people.

    On to victory, Larry, on to victory!


  13. I would have come live with you in the Kohl's parking lot.

  14. I feel real empathy for you here. Big time. Insurance vomits it's worse possible scenarios in my lap all the time. Oh, the phone calls!