Sunday, November 23, 2014

Encroaching Darkness

I spent 3 hours in IKEA today and - quite remarkably - spent less than 50 dollars.  Most of that money went for a curtain and a curtain rod to conceal the upstairs linen closet, which has become Job One in our ongoing campaign to eradicate bi-fold closet doors. Soon, I will be able to retrieve a new roll of toilet paper without the closet door, which is propped up against one side of the frame for all the world like a drunk who can't hold his liquor, falling on my head.

It's the little things, folks.

I'm calling it my Sherlock pillow.
The rest of the money I spent on a throw pillow (removable cover!) to cushion the spot on our new-to-us leather recliner couch where a metal bar pokes into one's butt.  This problem makes it rather painful to be the one stuck in the middle seat, so I am counting on this pillow to not only redeem our impulsive used furniture purchase but also render my Benedict Cumberbatch ogling sessions more comfortable.

In the meantime, Larry has gone off to Home Depot in an effort to relieve the Great Lightbulb Shortage of 2014. You see, ever since incandescents were banned and fluorescent and LED bulbs took over the store shelves, I have been flummoxed - FLUMMOXED, I tell you - every time I have attempted to buy some light bulbs.  For the life of me, I cannot tell which bulbs are the ones that come on immediately and which are the ones that take forever to warm up to full brightness and which ones hurt my eyes if I look at them.

So now we are down to zero spare light bulbs in the house and even some empty sockets, as we have slowly cannibalized the lamps in order to have working bulbs in the overhead fixtures.  I informed my somewhat confused spouse yesterday that I am incapable of ever buying these things again and he would just have to do the thinking for both of us.

Which is why Larry is at Home Depot right now, undoubtedly staring at all the expensive light bulbs and thinking, "What the heck?"

Speaking of which, I thought these newfangled bulbs were supposed to last longer and that's why they are more expensive.  Why then am I still replacing light bulbs every minute? Can someone explain this to me?  Please?


  1. My biggest complaint about the newfangled lightbulbs is finding a BRIGHT ENOUGH bulb. I am 57: 60watt-equivalent bulbs just ain't gonna cut it, folks. My second and third biggest complaints are that they are EXPENSIVE AS HELL, and may or may not last ten or twenty years--who'll ever know?-- if they are already inoperable when they come out of the stupid box. Replacing all the bulbs in an average house will cost hundreds of dollars--especially since I require BRIGHT bulbs which, as I have reminded everyone in my whiniest voice, cost almost twice as much as the dang dim ones. (I admit I did go out and buy a bunch of cheap incandescent bulbs for my bathroom fixtures, which require four clear bulbs each, and need to all match.)

  2. Your new pillow is so bright and cheerful! Bifold doors are the worst. We had them on the closet in our bathroom, and also concealing the washer and dryer, and about five minutes after we moved into our house, our three year old touched one of the doors and all of its slats collapsed and the door fell apart. Fifteen years later, we STILL haven't come up with a pair or curtains or other covering, so I commend your industriousness. Those expensive lightbulbs never last very long for me either, AND you can't just throw them away because they contain mercury. I hate them and I refuse to buy them now.

    1. Don't commend me yet - we have yet to hang that curtain rod. And can we still buy the old-style bulbs? I couldn't find them.

  3. I totally recommend LEDs over the new compact fluorescents. Besides anything else, they're dimmable, somewhat less expensive, and do actually seem to last longer. I still don't like them compared to the old bulbs, but they work. And I hear you about bifold doors. I waged a war on those and mini blinds at our old house. At the new place I'm waging war on carpet. I will slowly win...

  4. I'm glad I'm not alone in the land of light bulbs. It's so confusing!

  5. I refuse to buy those ugly lightbulbs. Who wants to look at a spiral thing in my pretty ceiling fan.