Friday, June 16, 2017

Chew On This

I see all sorts of things advertised on my Facebook feed. In fact, that's how I usually find out that Larry is planning to buy something, because it sure as heck wasn't MY Google searches that prompted Facebook to show me ads for kayaks and all their many accoutrements. And, of course, I will take full responsibility for all the yarn ads that I see. But sometimes an ad shows up out of nowhere. Say, an ad for a product like this one.

You didn't click, did you? You never do. Fine, here's a picture:

You know, I have 4 grown or almost grown children, and nary a one has asked me, "Say, where did you put all my baby teeth, anyway?" In fact, Anna managed to swallow half of hers by mistake.

That's not just us, is it? I hope not.

Okay, I just realized there is also a space for the umbilical cord there. I don't even know what to say about that. I'm surprised there's no compartment for fingernail clippings, is all.

Seriously, people, don't buy this. Spend the $25 on some packages of diapers instead. And if your friends happen to think this is a great gift idea? Get new friends.

I was about to sign off here, but Rachel walked in and saw this picture and said, "I can show you something worse." And you know what? She did.

Mouth filled in with your kids' very own teeth!

I don't know how I missed this trend (apparently it is so last year), but I'm sure glad I did. Sweet dreams, kids! Don't let the tooth monster bite!

Sort of rocks that Addams Family vibe, doesn't it?

[Tooth monster image: BusinessInsider]


  1. That thing is creeptastic. Thanks for sharing.

  2. The really eerie thing (other than whatever that last thing was) is I just stumbled across Man-Child's baby teeth the other day - minus the one he lost in the grass.

    Even though I've kept them all these years, I really don't want a box or a weird teddy bear to display them!

  3. I for one did not need Rachel's contribution--ew! That is all kinds of nasty.

  4. Oh man...WHY? That's all I can say.

  5. Blechh...
    It's genetic, the saving teeth thing. My husband saved our daughters' teeth, and when his grandmother died, his mother found her baby teeth and her brother's baby teeth in a drawer. So it skipped a generation.
    Is that thing your daughter contributed something people buy, or a do-it-yourself project from Pinterest? Ick.

  6. Um, um, um,... nope, I have no words. I write down a lot of the things my kids say, but save their teeth? Never occurred to me.

  7. Wow, that is freaky! I had a kid swallow a tooth forever ago. He was so bummed that the tooth fairy might not come that we had to draft a note explaining that the tooth was swallowed, so he could profit from a few quarters under his pillow. Of course it took us a week at least to remember to sneak the coins under his pillow, because we ALWAYS sucked at that traditional parenthood ritual. The younger kids really got the shaft. I had a friend whose in-laws gave the grandkids $100 if they happened to lose a tooth while they were visiting . . . I would've been tempted to knock out my own damn teeth!

    1. Yeah, we had to do the note thing, too. And, yes, the Tooth Fairy has been, uh, "locked out" a number of times around here!

  8. Okay, can we talk about bugs now? Because they are way less creepy. Blech.

  9. LMAO that's disgusting! Scott's mom gave us all his baby teeth a few years ago. I was like OMG WHY WOULD I WANT THESE? So gross.

  10. I cannot imagine why anyone would want any of these things! I have visions now (in my effort to get that horrid toothy bear thing out of my mental sight) of the scene in "Meet the Parents" where the future MIL is showing future DIL the guy's baby book, and the saved dried-up foreskin ends up being flung about the room in horror. (Disgusting, but at least it was a funny scene!)

  11. Weird.
    But yes, Rachel totally wins this round.