Thursday, January 04, 2018

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

School was canceled today, because we had a dusting of snow and OMG how could the children go out in that? Meanwhile, on Tuesday, it was 7 degrees out and Rachel stood outside for 20 minutes waiting for a bus that never came, because school buses here simply cannot handle the cold.

Go figure.

Anyway, my point is that Rachel was home today. She volunteered to go skating with us and acted downright pleasant all morning. So I'll admit it, I had my guard down when she approached me this afternoon.

"I have to interview an old person in my family," she announced. "It's an English assignment."

"Well," I said, thinking out loud, "you have no grandparents left, but Auntie Kate is 65. And Uncle Fred is in his eighties - you could ask him."

"Nah, I don't want to," said Rachel. "I was just thinking of asking you."

Apparently my anti-aging face cream is NOT doing its job.

So I was telling Larry about this at dinner and he said to our daughter formerly known as beloved, "Well, you could interview me then!" He was trying to be helpful, you know, and take the spotlight off my obvious decrepitude. Larry's nice that way.

"No," said Rachel. "I mean, you're busy - you have things to do."

Unlike moi, apparently. I left the room, while Rachel stammered away in the kitchen, trying to walk back that last comment.

I'm binding off these (uncritical) beauties tonight

You know, in case any of you wonder at my obsession with knitting, consider this: My yarn never calls me old. OR useless.


  1. Brutal! I've gotten some "I hate this" dinner comments I haven't minded as much. That would hurt. That is why I love books too. Non-judging.

  2. My granddaughter was upset that she had to interview someone who was alive on 9/11. She didn't KNOW anyone that old. Until my daughter told her that she, her mother, had been alive on 9/11.

  3. Oh no! Damn these spring chickens for thinking we are 'old.' I love it when my kids ask me questions about whether or not things were invented yet in my childhood. As if I am some kind of a dinosaur. 'Did you have a microwave?', etc. Some of the answers are complicated because microwaves were invented but my parents refused to get one until I was in high school. They also refused to get a garage door opener. Whoever was sitting closest to the car door had to jump out and open the door. Manually. It wasn't until we moved and the house came with a garage door opener that we began to really live life fully.

    My kids don't even go back to school until Tuesday the 9th. That happens to be Reggie's 12th bday. He asked if he could skip school that day. Ha!

  4. Oh good glory! I almost showered my screen with tea -- too funny. I also need a super-improved anti-aging cream one that will get rid of this eye 'bag' that has been around since before Xmas. This life-stuff and parenting isn't a walk in the park!

  5. " our daughter formerly known as beloved." I love that!

    These darn kids...they know our weak spots and how to turn the knife, don't they?

  6. My son had to interview someone for sex ed. His sister volunteered. What the heck. I was totally looking forward to embarrassing him.

  7. WHUT.

    I hope she is appropriately ashamed. Also? Karma is real so she best watch out. And you are lovely and amazing!

  8. Don't you hate it when they lull you into relaxing enough to let your guard down?!?

  9. In all fairness, I do enjoy occasionally shocking the kids with things that didn't exist when I was a kid. I've also been increasing my street cred by pointing out that I saw Star Wars 4 times when it first came out - and I had to GO TO A THEATER each time because it was before VHS. But, yeah, Rachel needs to work on her phrasing. And I love those (non-critical) socks.

  10. Those are gorgeous socks, and I wish my boys had the good sense to try to get back into my good graces when saying things like that (they don't because they are clueless boys). *sigh*