Wednesday, January 17, 2018

The Dangers Of Static Cling

Hi! I've been gone, off on a knitting weekend at a friend's beach house (yes, I DO make excellent friends, actually) with a bunch of knitters (duh), and I was going to tell you all about it, because riveting, I know. But first, I have to tell you about my dental visit, because riveting AND humiliating, all in one.

During the (fun! relaxing!) knitting weekend, a temporary crown came off my tooth. I had just had it put on there Wednesday, after sitting in the dental chair with people's fingers in my mouth for 2 whole hours - because really, I know how to have fun.

I knit during dental work - did you know that? It's the only way to get through it.

So, the crown came off, and for sure it has nothing to do with the fact that one of the knitters brought a pound of my favorite gummy bears to our little weekend retreat, so SHUT UP. I managed to squish it back on without passing out (but it was close, because OMG squeamish) and I went back to the dentist office this morning to get it glued back on until the real crown is ready.

All this talk about crowns is making me feel rather royal.

Anyway, I was running late, so I hustled upstairs and threw on jeans and a sweater fresh from the clean laundry basket (personal motto: dressers are for storing yarn, not clothes, duh) over my comfy leggings and shirt and ran out the door to my iced-over car. I scraped off my windshield (sort of) and managed to get to the dentist's just in time. Whew! Then I lay back in the chair and suffered more fingers in my mouth until the nice dental technician (really, they hire the nicest people there, with the exception of that one dental hygienist) said, "Okay! You're good to go! Just rinse over here by the sink and I'll walk you out."

So I gathered up my knitting (remember? I knit during dental work) off my stomach and sat up and got really confused because there was still yarn there? On my sweater? Or wait - under my sweater? Poking out?


People, it was a sock. I was lying in that chair with a stray wool sock poking out from under my sweater the whole time. In fact, I must have walked into that dental office with that sock poking out from under my sweater.

So then I was trying to surreptitiously pat myself all over my sweater, looking to see if there were any other woolen lumps under there, when the dental hygienist came back in the room. "Everything all right?" she asked, probably puzzled to see this middle-aged dame feeling herself up in public.

And that is why I probably should have just stayed at that beach house...


  1. My dentist when I lived in Minnesota actually used to use Dots candy to remove crowns....on purpose. He just heated it up a little bit under the light, put it in your mouth and had you bite down for a bit, then open and it came. He said it was the cheapest and more sure fire way to remove them. He then went on to say how he had sort of a love-hate relationship with those types of candies, because they caused a lot more work for him, but, because they caused more work, he made more money. LOL

    And, at least it was yarn and not underwear. They probably figured it was just an unfinished project you had tucked away to work on later! Honestly, I think they only look at teeth and shoes and the in between bits are much ignored.

    1. Yes, I AM relieved it wasn't underwear. That thought did occur to me.

  2. I'm with Kayla above -could have been a bra! So happy for you that you had a beach weekend with friends. It sounds heavenly.

  3. "just stayed at that beach house" is my housing plan for retirement. If I can skulk in someone's beach house from Labor Day to Memorial Day (even with the heat turned down), I will pay for housing in the summer months.

    If I were a dentist, I would be wary of treating a patient who had objects suitable for use as stabbing weapons within reach while I was treating her. You must go to a painless dentist.