I'm Baaaack!

Kudos to Larry for managing to hook up our antiquated computer system to the Internet! Unfortunately, this gives him yet another piece of ammunition in our ongoing argument over the dubious value of hanging on to useless junk versus the virtues of travelling light, as it were. Be that as it may, I am definitely working on the horse-and-buggy version of our modern-day computers. As in, I'm surprised I don't have to keep pedalling something to keep this thing running. (But, you know, a set-up like that would not be a bad idea...)

Larry took our dead CPU to the Geek Squad for an autopsy, and the diagnosis was a defunct motherboard. Whew. I was afraid they'd tell him it had something to do with too much blogging. So now we're having a fun discussion of whether to replace the motherboard (mother bored?) or to buy a new computer with the money we had been saving towards my laptop (sob, sniff). Today was also the day that I got to pay over one hundred dollars to fix a problem with Anna's flute. And another 30 dollars to buy her a tuner to replace the one that Rachel bathed in the toilet last year. We're expecting our car to break down any minute, just to add to the fun.

But that's okay, because we are made of money. Ask Anna.

I consoled myself over the loss of my computer by going to Michael's and picking up supplies for a few knitting projects. I showed remarkable restraint, considering that all yarn was 30 percent off this week; but I must have fondled every skein in the place before I could tear myself away. I think the damage came to less than 40 dollars. You knitting bloggers can appreciate my amazing self-control, I am sure.

Knitting bloggers - shouldn't there be a shorter name for that by now? Knoggers, perhaps? Remember, you heard it here first.

Aaaack......

I'm blogging from a neighbor's house because my computer is brain-dead. I'm still in shock from the whole experience; yesterday everything was fine and it didn't freeze up even once and I had thought we were on the road to recovery. I only left for a few minutes to bathe the children; but when I came back, it was gone. I never even got to say good-bye. RIP, my friend, RIP.

And now I owe Larry big because he backed up all my word documents a few nights ago. Too bad he didn't know to back up the Christmas pictures. He did suggest that we wrap a bunch of boxes and stuff some candy canes in the stockings and re-enact Christmas morning for the camera; but I just don't think my heart is in it.

Well, I need to get out of my very kind neighbor's hair....you all will have to carry on without me...

Happy Anniversary To Me

Well, it's our anniversary (#17); and Larry's left me here with 4 kids and a greeting card and a pack of M&M's while he goes skiing with the big kids. Yet another reason to go to our neighborhood Best Buy and treat myself to a laptop, don't you think?

Of course, my husband is nobody's fool; he's taken my babysitters with him. Foiled, again.

I am beginning to realize that Larry purposely left me with the expiring-computer-mouse condition. Think about it: the computer works for 15 minutes, then the mouse dies, leaving me no choice but to shut the whole thing off. And get up and do something useful around here. I feel manipulated.

My toddler has an endearing habit of climbing up behind me on my computer chair and keeping me company while I type. Which is fine, unless she suddenly slips off, all the while maintaining her kung-fu grip on my hair. Ouch.

I'm in the mood for short paragraphs tonight. Can you tell?

I haven't cooked in 3 days. Instead, I've been feeding the kids cheese and crackers left over from the party, pizza, and canned soup. They love it. I am the best mommy in the world. It doesn't hurt that I'm sharing all my Christmas chocolate with them, either.

Well, time to enjoy a nice quiet evening with the house to myself. Not that the teenagers bother me or anything. But I just want to be able to sit around and knit without seeing myself through their eyes. As a middle-aged boring loser. Is that too much to ask?

Hooray, It's Not The Holidays Anymore!

I'm feeding the kids party leftovers all day. They love me. I should do this all the time. Before lunch, we played Christmas Bingo and whoever won got a Christmas cookie. I need to get all the junk food out of the house before the good times come to a crashing halt this Monday with my first official weigh-in. I hate dieting, but I also hate not being able to breathe with my jeans snapped.

I wasn't going to post a New Year's resolution; but last night, while I was having panic attacks over the fact that our computer had frozen up and realizing that I might not be able to access all the articles I've written, ever again (mostly homeschooling crap - not for general consumption), articles that I sometimes manage to sell for genuine legal tender (not much, but enough to buy myself some clothes without feeling as though I am taking food out of my children's mouths)...

Where was I? Oh, yes, last night I made my resolution: back everything up on an external drive. Constantly. Not later. Because "better late than never" does not apply in this situation.

Anyway, Larry wrapped up his nomination for Best Husband of the Year award by staying up late to do a temporary fix on the computer and get all my word docs on one of those flash drive thingies, which I will now keep under my pillow at night (in case of fire). He neglected, however, to tell me he fixed it; and so I discovered his good deed by accident after wandering downstairs in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, my writing career (humor me) flashing before my eyes all the while. Which explains all those middle-of-the-night comments I left on everyone's blogs, okay? I hope they made sense. I was giddy with relief at the time. And I missed you.

The holidays make me sort of sentimental.

And before we give Larry too much credit, let's just say he was making a sensible financial decision by fixing the computer before leaving with the high schoolers on their ski trip today - he knew that if he left me alone for 3 days with a broken computer, well, odds were I'd either call one of those Rent-A-Geek places and pay gazillion bucks to regain access to my world, as it were; or I'd decide to spend those gazillion bucks on a new computer for myself. With just my stuff on it. And I wouldn't share, ever.

We're still having to restart the computer approximately every 5 minutes, because the mouse freezes up. I e-mailed Microsoft for a hotfix and they sent me the link (ooh, don't I sound computer savvy?) and I downloaded a zip file (?) and I unzipped it - rather, the computer says I unzipped it; but maybe the computer is lying, because I can't find all the files I supposedly unzipped. So I'm stuck. Maybe I will just wander by Best Buy today...


Maria has tagged me with a birth month meme, where you take the attributes supposedly associated with your birth month (I'm June) and talk about how they apply to you. Very fortune-cookie-ish, but I like fortune cookies.


Thinks far with vision - I suppose this refers to the fact that I am constantly imagining how I will set up the house when the kids have all flown the nest.

Easily influenced by kindness - Why, yes, I am a sucker...

Polite and soft-spoken - Please. I'm from New Jersey. Get real.

Having ideas - Don't we all? I should hope so.

Sensitive - As in, one unkind comment could ruin my whole day. So, don't. Make fun of Diesel instead.

Hesitating, tends to delay - Hmmm....I don't know....I'll get back to this one later.

Choosy and always wants the best - Anyone who has seen me scarfing up store-brand chocolate chips out of the bag would want to debate this.

Temperamental - I am a woman, after all.

Funny and humorous - But, of course. Goes without saying. Ahem.

Loves to joke - As long as it's about other people (see sensitive, above).

Good debating skills - Don't you hate how anyone with an obnoxious, totally undisciplined, mouthy kid always says their little monster has "great debating skills"? "He'll make a great lawyer!" they proclaim. How about "He'll make a great a**hole!"?

Talkative - That's what my husband thinks, anyway.

Friendly - pathetically so.

Prone to getting colds - Apparently.

Loves to dress up - Yes, just so people will ask me questions that I take unreasonable umbrage at.

Easily bored - Are we done yet?

Fussy - Moi? Just because I can't sleep right if I can't find one of my special pairs of soft wool socks for bed? And the socks have to match, or my feet feel uneven and keep me up? Okay, yes.

Seldom shows emotions - Doesn't my husband wish?

Brand conscious - I don't think so (see choosy, above).

Stubborn - Of course. What? I'm going to let the stupid people with dumb ideas run the show? I don't think so.

Barb, I tag you, of course. You're always funny with these things (putting the pressure on - sorry), and it will take your mind off the move.

Do Not Ask For Whom the Ball Drops

I would like to hear a round of applause for my husband, who has indeed finished painting the main living area of our house in time for our party on New Year's Day. As predicted, we are hanging up those curtains with the paint barely dry; but they will be up! And Larry has piled on even more marriage points. He's winning, folks!

After Larry put away all the painting paraphernalia (sp?), we spent some not-so-quality time hanging up all the pictures that have been lying around since we moved. I do not recommend this stressful exercise in togetherness unless either your marriage is solid as a rock or you and your spouse are both far too broke to even consider splitting up. By the time we were finished, Larry was drinking and I had to go to a neighbor's house to calm down.

This evening we went to our first ever New Year's Eve party. The whole family was invited, so we figured, hey, why not? That way Larry and I could spend the afternoon fighting over interior decorating instead of cooking dinner. We had to leave the party by 9:30, before any kids started crying; but unfortunately after some poor unfortunate asked us, "Do you both work?" and I immediately replied, "Yes - I work my butt off at home, and Larry works to bring in the money." You know that phrase shocked silence? I experienced it tonight. It's quite loud.

So, perhaps my response was a tad too snarky. After all, the question may actually have been a sort of compliment - maybe I looked professional, all dressed up as I was. Usually people don't even ask; they assume I'm a stay-at-home frump. I ran my theory by Larry, but he was pretending not to know me at that point. You'd think I'd embarrassed him or something. But that's okay - he embarrasses me all the time. I was just getting even.

Well, time to turn in so that I can get up bright and bushy-tailed - I need energy to yell at the kids all morning while I get ready for our party. Larry is a bit miffed that we have absolutely no idea how many people are showing up (a little, um, mistake on my part); so we need to prepare for the worst-case scenario. And I have to find the New Year's paper party goods I bought on sale in January 2006. They're around here somewhere.