Thank You, Craigslist!

Lookee there, to the right!  A working stove!  Barely used and just 300 dollars on Craigslist!  And it came with all these exclamation points!

You know, I'm a tad worried that I have become a person who gets this excited about a Maytag appliance.  This may be a bad sign.

I have no time to think about that now, however, busy as I will be relearning how to cook the modern way - you see, for the past few months, I've developed a sort of campfire style of food preparation: put the pot on our antiquated stove for a minute or so and then take it off and stir things around and then put it back on...you get the idea.  The only thing missing from the whole outdoorsy-type experience were the S'mores.  Although, I guess we could have microwaved those.

Click on that link, it's amusing.

And, no, the stove didn't come with the repairman.  But, considering our track record with appliances, that might have been useful.

Maybe Mubarak Should Look Out The Window?

Hey, Mubarak?  Your people are calling.  They want their country back.

Hope Springs Eternal

 Something in me snapped the other day, the 13 millionth time I had a pot boil over because my not-long-for-this-world stove only works when the burner is set to "High."  Maybe it was the smell of the burned hot cocoa bubbling away beneath the electric element that did it, or maybe it was the tears of the children who had been looking forward to a nice hot cup of chocolate after sledding. 

"That's it!" I told Larry. "I'm pulling the plug.  Let's go shopping."

Larry and I, before we went to Best Buy

Despite 20 years of marriage and the world-weariness that generally comes with middle age, Larry and I headed off to Best Buy full of the type of anticipation and hope better suited to a pair of starry-eyed newlyweds.  Hand in hand, we sashayed through the front doors and nodded cheerily to the greeter.   "A new stove!" we thought, "We're gonna walk out of here with a stove that works!" 

An hour later?  We staggered out to the frozen wasteland of a parking lot, two broken, demoralized, pissed-off-at-each-other 40-somethings.  Flat cooktop stoves, gas stoves, 5-burner stoves, stoves with simmer burners and power burners...."I just wanted an ordinary stove," I sobbed.  "4 burners, self-cleaning, nothing fancy..."

"There, there," Larry tried to console me.  "We could go back in, buy that electric flat top with the 4 burners..."

"No, no," I said.  "Both big burners in the front - how stupid is that?  Why wouldn't you let me get the black one we saw first?"

"Forget it," he said.  "It's GE."

"So?"

"So, they don't stand behind their products.  Remember the broken handle on the microwave?"

"NO ONE stands behind their products!  Do you see KitchenAid standing behind my broken dishwasher?"

"Look," said Larry.  "Maybe we should get the gas stove?  It's an extra $600 for the conversion, but..."

"Forget it.  Just forget it.  I don't need a stove.  The oven still works.  The heck with it."

And here's where 20 years worth of marriage kicked in.  Larry stopped trying  to reason with me.  He took me out for dinner instead.  At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do.

[Newlyweds: Wallace Wood Ornaments]

Weight Loss, Guy-Style

Sigh  - remember way back when, when I was so excited about my new job?  You know, the whole set-your-own-hours, work-from-home thing?  Well, it's a lot less exciting near the end of the contract period when I realize that maybe - just maybe - I haven't been setting enough hours.

Yeah.

So, as the clock runs down, I've been working extra this past month, with little to no time left over for my precious blogging (which pastime, as Larry keeps reminding me, does not provide much in the way of financial remuneration - as opposed to, say, MY JOB).

I miss you.  All of you. 

To add insult to my wage-slave misery, Larry made an announcement today:

Cute, isn't he?  Unlike Larry...

L: I've lost 3 pounds this week!

Me:

L: Isn't that great?

Me:

L: What?

One wonders where Larry has been the last 5 years; apparently he wasn't in residence as I assiduously lost the same 20 pounds over and over again, counting points, taking walks in order to earn a lousy apple, weighing in week after week after humiliating week.  How did Larry lose his 3 pounds?  Why, he used a rowing machine for a bit each morning...just came right off!  Isn't that great?

Sometimes, I wonder why I married a guy.

[Homer picture: PETA]
[Baby picture: PSAW India]

Desperate Husband

For further proof that my husband will do absolutely anything to get away from me, Larry is off on a 2-night Boy Scout camping trip with David.  It's 15 degrees out, people.  He called me this afternoon and tried to act as though things were going just great.  "We're having grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches right now!" he said, in the falsely cheerful tone usually reserved for ICU visits.

"Well," I said, trying to play along, "at least you don't have to worry about keeping the food cold."

"Actually, we had to put the food in the coolers just to warm it up."

Okay, that's COLD.


[Image credit: TerraDaily]