Monday, April 27, 2009

Still Here!

Larry has had a lingering, flu-like illness for over 2 weeks. Since yesterday, every time he blows his nose or coughs, he adds a few pig-like oinks or snorts. The kids love it. "Swine Flu!" they yell.

I wonder whether his fellow airline passengers this evening will find that routine funny?

Because, yes, Larry is leaving me again. But only for a few days! He has to come home and pack for the 2-week trip he's taking (lucky for him) after Mother's Day.

Mother's Day? I won't want much. How about a fountain coke (with ice!) and someone (Larry) to clean the rotting apples out of my second refrigerator? I'm easy.

You see, I've given up Coke. I was drinking more and more of it, until I was considering filling one of those Camelbak things with the substance and wearing it on my back with the straw in my mouth. So I quit cold turkey. I'll have one on Mother's Day. Another one on my birthday. After that? I'll probably slowly get addicted again. So it goes...

The temps this weekend went from early spring to full summer, a situation which made me realize that my summer clothes barely fit. So I dragged my sorry (big) a** back to Weight Watchers and stepped on the scale. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, so you would think that the person weighing me in would have mentioned that? Would have said something like, "Oh, you don't have too far to go?" No. She said, "Well, it's a good thing you came back in." Making me think I had gained 20 pounds. I got back in the car without even looking at the number she had written down and cried. Thanks a lot, lady!

Turns out it was less than 10. It's just all sitting right on my middle.

You know, losing weight (and keeping it off) would be easy if I weren't feeding children all the time. I think I eat a day's worth of WW points just sampling stuff that I am cooking (for them!) and clearing their plates after meals. That's right - I blame my kids.

Trip to my parents? Oh, yes. Fairly uneventful after a late start caused by the fact that we couldn't get the seating arrangements set to everyone's satisfaction and seatbelt requirements. The tie-dyed cake idea went okay, but it tasted like Playdough to me. Probably because it was colored like Playdough. The kids liked it. Apparently someone else liked it, because it was vandalized before we could sing Happy Birthday to my parents. You would think that the unlit candles would have tipped off the perpetrator to the fact that the cake should not be cut yet. And Uncle Matt is still insulted that he was accused of this dastardly deed. By both Theo and Anna...and, um, me....

You see, we were wrong. It was Grandma. She didn't feel like waiting. And, you know what? When you're 78, carpe cakem may just be a good philosophy to live by.

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29 comments:

  1. I need to go to Weight Watchers too--I'm tired of my clothes being tight. Maybe I could be shamed out of eating too much candy.

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  2. I LOVED carpe cakem! Will be using it in the future.

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  3. Huh. I was just thinking today that I don't eat enough because I'm feeding my kids all day. Lunch consisted of some crackers in the car, an apple while the baby napped (still in the car), the last piece of lunchmeat, rolled up, all by itself, and a bowl of cereal eaten standing up, with the baby in the sling. At dinnertime, I was trying to juggle getting the boys food, feeding the baby cereal, and maybe possibly getting a forkful of food into my own mouth every few minutes. I am hungry All. THE. TIME.

    And every time I talk to my own traveling husband, he tells me about touring Pompeii, or the Amalfi Coast for crying out loud, or visiting the Vatican, or the awesome food. I told him I want to see a copy of his sales report to confirm that he actually did some fricking work, because it sounds like one excellent vacation to me.

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  4. I should be shamed out of too much diet dr. pepper (the cherry vanilla variety) but I'm a junkie lately.

    Glad you made the cake- I'm sorry it tasted like playdough. I couldn't get past the look to even taste it. (shh, don't tell). My kids loved it though. Maybe if I did tie dyed veggies....

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  5. LOL I'm sorry. I'm laughing because you have a cake theif. I used to blame the kids for such things but now I have learned to look to the hubby. Always the hubby.

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  6. Carpe cakem! I'm only 39 and I think that's a beautiful philosophy!

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  7. DON'T!!! If you have gotten past the cravings and headaches, don't give in and have a coke. You'll get that taste in your mouth and it'll be all over. Take it from one who knows. I've given up Diet Mt Dew at least 5 times! I've endured the cravings and days of horrible headaches that Tylenol can't begin to alleviate. Then I'll give up and the cycle starts all over. And remember--carbonated drinks bloat your stomach! Maybe just not drinking soda will get rid of those few pounds!

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  8. Okay: you have 115 followers? The Matron must now put you in Derfwad category and get on bended knee. Forget swine flu.

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  9. You always make me laugh, but CARPE CAKEM was truly ingenious!!

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  10. That BITCH! Aren't they supposed to be supportive at weight watchers?? Did you tell her, "well, it's a good thing you're here full time, huh."

    And that cake DID look like play dough, but I would have eaten it. (for the record it was NOT me - this time).

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  11. I do love a bold grandma.

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  12. Carpe Cakem! Words to live by.

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  13. So funny----granny, you go!

    I wish that I only needed to lose under 10 pounds----in my dreams!!

    And I only have one child left at home, whats my excuse? Oh, yeah---menopause--its a buh-gger!

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  14. Good job on quitting your Coke habit! I'm a Pepsi lover and have given it up often, most recently when I gave up ALL caffeine for lent. I feel better, I sleep better without it...BUT it just tastes so darn good!

    I've decided once a year for 6 weeks I'll quit and then just moderate my intake the rest of the year. (No more 52 ouncers from the gas station)

    More power to ya!
    Kari B

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  15. Boo on nasty WW lady - doesn't she know that all weight loss is relative and it's far better to give positive reinforcement?

    Good for Grandma- hope I'm that feisty when I'm that age.

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  16. I thought about giving up my Dr. Pepper, and I even went without it for a whole day, then I realized that I just feel happier after I drink one.

    Is that so wrong?

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  17. I'm still hoping to find the perfect snack food that the kids love and I hate. The closest I've come is wafer cookies -- the kind made with shortening and that cake-ice-cream-cone stuff. Eew.

    Our pantry is filled with diet, caffeine-free cola. Generic cola. It has Splenda (sucralose) in it, which I'm allergic to. So that works too.

    I swear, I gained 10 pounds on toddler sandwich crusts alone.

    And somehow, "carpe carrot" doesn't have the same cache, does it? ;)

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  18. I applaud Grandma for taking that cake! Tie-dyed--very cool!
    Hopefully giving up your coke habit will expunge the 10 lbs. from you without any extra effort;)

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  19. Please DO update us on the airline passengers' reactions! I love a good prank and people get so uptight these days too when it comes to any kind of new illness out there.

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  20. Here I was thinking you were enjoying the nice weather! A sick husband is one of the reasons our NYC trip busted before we ever got out of bed on Spring Break.
    *sigh*
    I'm joining Weight Watchers this week, even though my schedule is too busy to get to a meeting before Saturday morning. I might bite the person's head off if I get told something like that! (And I have a lot more to lose than 10 pounds!)
    My vice is the occasional Diet Coke (reg. Coke is too strong and syrupy-sweet for me)... oh yeah, and chocolate, mashed potatoes, cheesecake...

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  21. Carpe Cakem - I think I need to adopt this one.

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  22. Vandalized cake is a common occcurence in my house.
    If it's not BOLD pieces missing, it's finger traces in the icing.
    Brazen behavior indeed.

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  23. I love that she ate the cake. That is so cute.

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  24. Carpe cakem. I love it!

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  25. I love carpe cakem. That will probably be my new motto from now on. Or even carpe candy. How about carpe sugare?

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  26. When I am 78, not only will I be stealing pieces of cake from the container, I will be stealing food off people's plates. And drooling and talking crazy. On purpose. It's part of the whole revenge scheme I'm plotting.

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  27. You diet? That is a 4 letter word, we shouldn't use those words. How about a healthy family eating plan? Doesn't that sound so much better? Now, please excuse me, as there is a piece of cake left over from dinner to finish before it gets stale. I didn't frost it, as we are out of powdered sugar. That makes it healthier, right?

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  28. I can't remember what Dr. Oz says, but if you give up soda for one year, you either lose 20 or 30 pounds, I cant remember. I love Diet Pepsi and maybe have 5 a year.

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