Happy Days!

Larry brought Theo home from his freshman year of college today. And, yes, that would have been my husband and I tap dancing in our parking lot this afternoon whilst singing "Happy Days Are Here Again!" You would have been equally exuberant to have your 19-year-old babysitter/bug-killer/stir-fry chef back home again for a few months. Admit it.

Not sure how Theo feels about the situation, however. I do hope he sticks around.

David, our resident vegetarian, is feeling a tad glum. Due to Theo's dairy allergy, David and I had to scour our refrigerator clean of any traces of the dairy products he has come to know and love over the past 9 months. Good-bye, lasagna fixin's! Fare thee well, quesadilla ingredients! Adieu, beloved shredded mozzarella! It was an emotional afternoon, to put it mildly. But at least I now have a fighting chance to shed the 10 pounds I've gained since Theo went to college last August.



I have no idea whether or not this is a decent rendition of the song - I don't have earbuds with me (I'm goofing off here in Starbucks). I decided not to risk embedding the Barbra Streisand version of it, though. You're welcome.

Further Proof We're In The End Times...

This just in...

...the Cub Scouts are offering merit awards for playing video games. That's right - developing an expertise in Xbox 360 and PlayStation is taking its not-so-rightful place beside such time-honored skills as fire-building, canoeing, hiking, and orienteering.

Talk about lowering the bar! What's next? A texting-your-friends patch for the Girl Scouts?

Sheesh! Kids these days...



[Photo credit: Boy Scout Heroes]

Chocolate: Friend or Foe?

Larry has the habit of leaving what he considers relevant articles up on the screen for me to see in the morning. Thus, this article greeted me before breakfast today:

Chocolate lovers 'are more depressive', say experts

Chocolate eaters tend to be more depressed? Really? Look, take away my chocolate and I guarantee you will see what "depressed" looks like. And, despite its misleading headline, the article itself backs up my militant chocolate-consuming stance by acknowledging that this is a classic chicken-and-the-egg situation; i.e., it could be that depressed people reach for chocolate to alleviate their feelings of sadness and purposelessness.

I heart York Peppermint Patties, ergo sum...

This latter view is bolstered by an earlier BBC article entitled Chocolate Makes For Happy Babies. Well! That settles it for me. And since those democratically-elected tyrants in Congress who dared to pass health reform have not yet made a move towards restricting our medicinal chocolate supply, I will make sure to hoard as much chocolate happiness as I can before we all become cacao-less government welfare slaves.

Or something like that....

In the meantime, I think I'll leave this article up on the screen for my coffee-addicted husband's perusal. I mean, I'm sure he wants to know that he is at risk of hallucinations from his 8-cup-a-day habit. Of course that knowledge might depress him...

Want a Peppermint Patty, honey? It's happy food.



[Frowny Face photo credit: this baseball blog]
[Happy Face photo credit: Home School Image blog]

Stage Mother-itis

Yesterday's post might have made some of you wonder if this blog were going to devolve into a "bragging about my kids' amazing talents" type of place. I mean, here was my super-brilliant son coming within 7 of the correct number of chocolates in the jar! He's amazing!

Except, um, I helped. Under the guise of teaching Brian how to measure volume, I showed him how to count up, and then across, and then across the other side and helped him multiply those numbers. I was heavily invested in his success in this thing. But, hey, I bet all the other parents are doing it, too. And since my kids don't go to school, I don't get to do all their science fair projects and history dioramas for them.

[That science fair project to the left there? The kids' parents helped him. He admits it right here. It doesn't hurt to have a chemistry professor for a mom and a dad who can help you with your "titration graph," whatever the heck that is.]

Do kids do dioramas anymore? Or is it all power point presentations now?

My stage-mother persona needed an outlet, dammit. And I found it in that jar of chocolates. Next step? Well, maybe it will be what any other self-respecting homeschooling mother aims for...the National Spelling Bee. We homeschoolers own it, you know. And have I ever mentioned that way back in 1975, I was 3 people away from going to DC for that particular contest myself? I coulda been a contender.

"Quixotic"...that's the word that got me...and some kid from Puerto Rico won the nationals that year, on "incisor." Sheesh. I knew how to spell "incisor."

"the nationals" - like how I just tossed that one out, as if I were competing in something athletic? Because, yeah, that was the closest I've ever come to winning a trophy in anything. You see, (at least back then) no one would hand you a trophy for wearing dorky eyeglasses and tripping over your own foot while trying to kick a ball. Spelling was my only chance, my way out of the suburban ghetto, as it were...

[Gah - I was searching for an image to slap on here for the National Spelling Bee and I stumbled on this website Vegas Watch that is essentially figuring the odds for particular spelling bee contestants to win - you know, in case you want to start betting on your own kid (or someone else's). ]


Oh, and the correct guess for the chocolates was 540 (Brian - and, uh, myself - guessed 547) - kcinnova got it right off the bat in the first comment. She must help her kids with their homework all the time.

Happiness Is...

...winning a jar of chocolate. Our credit union sponsored a guess-how-many-chocolate-balls-in-the-jar contest, and Brian won. Oh, to be 10 again! At that age, what better thing could possibly happen (particularly since a 50-dollar bill was included in the jar)? Lego money and candy - his happiness is complete.

Feel free to guess the magic number. We've only eaten a few of them. I have to supervise the Uncle Matt poker game in the kitchen - the kids are playing with M&M's instead of chips, and Susie is crying (albeit with a full mouth) because her winnings are "gone."