Sunday, July 19, 2009

Knitting and World Peace

[Welcome, Women's Colony readers! Feel free to hang out and look around. Just don't get on my case about the myriad unfinished knitting projects strewn around, or my lax parenting habits, or my predilection for writing about vomit. We all have our little idiosyncrasies...]

Shhh, I'm working. Larry even took the younger kids out so that I could concentrate. Has anyone else noticed that immediate feeling of relaxation that comes over you when everyone else leaves the house? Aaaahhhhh.....

Somehow, I don't think I'm going to have any problems whatsoever with empty-nest syndrome.

Well, I had a neat article to point you to (but I can't find it), all about whether mommy bloggers are becoming corporate sellouts. You never have to worry about that here, of course, because no one wants to buy me. I'm sell-out proof! Although I can't imagine why I don't have refrigerator and dishwasher companies banging on my (cyber)door.

[Why, yes, I am still washing dishes for our family of 8 by hand....funny you should mention it...]

Actually, ebeanstalk wanted my review services. But considering that they hawk "expert-selected learning toys" on their website and publish articles fretting over the proper play experiences for 2-year-olds, I didn't think I would be a good fit. In my view, the proper play experience for a 2-year-old is the pots-and-pans cabinet. Throw in a few wooden spoons and you're set!

There - free kid advice. The blogosphere doesn't get any better than that.


Now, I know there has been a lot in the news about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, and about sectarian violence in Iraq, and also about that pesky Pakistan/Taliban thing. But, in focusing on these internecine squabbles all over the world, we run the risk of overlooking serious partisan fighting in our own backyards, the kind that can occur between rival gangs of knitters (Needles) and crocheters (Hooks). My knitting friends, please click on that last link to a YouTube video - you will not regret it.

Now. Click now. Really. I think you all need to hear this young crocheter broach the difficult subject of coming out to her knitting family. We can't shove these difficult problems under the rug anymore, people. The burden of shame this young lady is under will make you weep.

And then, knitters, I ask you - in the interests of world peace - to reach out and befriend one of those poor granny-square-making crocheters who just cannot handle working with 2 needles at once. Together, we can make a difference.


Baby Surprise Jacket? What Baby Surprise Jacket?

And, speaking of knitting (I mean, we were speaking of knitting, weren't we?), I have the second wool sock of a pair finished - all except the Kitchener grafting for the toe. And therein lies my dilemma. You see, all this past spring, as I hurried (hurried being a relative term when it comes to my knitting speed) to finish the sock, the weather remained cool - cool enough, in fact, to wear a pair of wool socks (if I should ever, um, complete them).

The weather was teasing me, you see. I knew, in my heart of hearts, that the minute I finished Kitchenering the toe of that second sock, the mercury would shoot up and the air would become laden with enough warm moisture to make the outdoors one big terrarium (as is its wont around here in summer).

So, I never completed the toe. And, wouldn't you know? We have had the most unseasonably cool, comfortable, low-humidity summer that our area has ever seen. I take full credit.

And now I'm scared to finish that darn sock. I can't help thinking that my knitting procrastination is all that stands between my immediate geographic area and the worst heat wave ever experienced by man. I am carrying the weight of the world on my (size zero) knitting needles.

You're welcome.

[I am having major troubles with font colors in this post - I don't know why.]


  1. On those rare occasions I'm in the house alone, I wander around completely at a loss as to what to do with myself. Sad, I know. It's like there are so many possibilities I'm frozen, all the circuits jammed. And then, as likely as not, I clean a bathroom...

  2. DON'T DO IT!!!
    I'm loving this low humidity July...
    I have been having problems loading your blog. Everything comes up but the Lettering! This is the first one that loaded this week! I hope it was all a google issue and is worked out now.
    I must admit that I both Knit and crochet, but I'm faster and more creative with my crocheting...and I HATE carrying the weight of a big much simpler to lay it in my lap and only hold one loop at a time!
    Blessings, Elizabeth

  3. I would have no idea what it is like when all the children leave the house. My husband has NEVER taken our children out on his own. In fact, just this weekend I was out with my oldest daughter, my husband called in a panic begging me to return home because the 2 hours I had been gone felt "like at least a week." I'm so jealous.

    If I had to hand wash dishes for the 8 of us, I am pretty sure I would have done something rash by now...

  4. Aaargh - I've fixed the link to that video umpteen times, but it keeps going back to the wrong page. And if you are reading this in a reader, maybe the link never updates? If clicking on it lands you on the Metafilter page, just click on their link to "Wooly Bullies."

    I don't know why me and the HTML are not getting along today. Bad blogging karma?

  5. Two words-teenager labor! They want to be fed, housed and clothed, they need to do the dishes. Or you could buy jumbo packs of paper plates, plastic silverware and paper cups at costco? Either way could work. I would be serving stuff that can be made with one pan or griddle, serving it on disposable stuff, muttering about how were throwing money away for good quality paper plates, plastic silverware and plastic cups.

    I only wash the parts of my breast pump with the bottles and pots/pans by hand. The kids better do the rest or their internet stops working. It's really easy to remove the modem and take it with me when I leave the house if I get mad. I just leave it in my hubby's car at the park and ride when I drive by on the way to work.

  6. This weather is crazy!!! I love it. My half of the king sized bed has a winter quilt on the top layer. Hubby still is just under a light summer blanket. I had him turn off the air conditioner after I wrapped my icy little fingers around his southern region. Case closed. Turn off the air!!!

    Mommy bloggers are not sell outs!! They are just having fun with some random free mostly junk. Good for them. I will not diss another woman in any way.... except maybe the ones on the view.

  7. I was totally humming the Westside Story song in my head when I was reading the part about world peace, but I can't remember the name of the song.

    Also? Pots, pans and wooden spoons are perfect for ringing in the new year. No need spending money on noisemakers and such like.

  8. I have never attempted socks. I'm four months into a baby blanket that is going to have to be ripped out. Whenever I have a massive knitting fail, I go back to my old standby - washcloths. How lame is that? But I have a drawer full of them and it makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

    One day I'll get the blanket done. One day.

  9. Just wait until the first snowstorm of the winter is forecast and then finish the sock. There. I have solved all of the world's problems. I don't know why nobody is beating down my door, or blog as the case may be, to hire me for the position of chief problem solver. I can take care of global warming by giving knitting advice!

  10. Thanks for the explanation--someone in San Diego must be finishing the toe of a wool sock. Damn them!

  11. I'm a knitter too, but I just can't get past that empty nest comment. Don't think I'm going to have ANY problems with it either!!

  12. Can't say much about knitting. The onle thing I've knit are a few scarves, using the kind of yarn that doesn't show mistakes so much. The empty nest thing is another story. I used to think I wouldn't have any problems either, but now that we're almost there, I'm not so sure. It's happening a little quicker than I thought and I'm not quite ready. Or maybe it's a peri-menopause thing? Either way, I've been having some very weird an unexpected emotions in the last few weeks.

  13. Could you do just a little bit more of that sock/? Not the whole thing, mind you - but I gotta admit, I'm a tad bit cold.

    I packed for DC in the summer. I came from 120 degrees. I'm freezing my ass off.

    Glad you had a restful day. I cannot believe you haven't gone postal yet. I'll wait.

  14. I've actually never had the courage to knit socks... I probably wouldn't ever finish them either. I'm going to go watch the video now.

  15. I think you should come to Michigan and finish that toe. Please? I could use some warmth.

  16. AnonymousJuly 20, 2009

    That video was freaking FUNNY! friend offered me her hook and that's how it all started... hiding it under her mattress, ROTFL

    Thank you, dear SC, for our cool summer. I have appreciated it more than you can know (well, maybe you can know). I am now headed to the other side of the country for some dry heat and sunshine!
    But winter will be coming in a few brief months, and I have a request: could you please arrange for a few big snowstorms? We've been highly disappointed at the lack of snowfall around here. We'd especially like to cross-country ski out our front door, if you could please make that happen. January would be perfect. Thank you.

  17. I'm neither a knitter or a hooker, so I know I have no right to ask, but could you ask your sock to send me a new dishwasher? (OK, I'm pretty bad at this whole mommyblogger sell-out thing--that's how it works, right?) Because we're only a family of four, but the old dishwasher stopped getting things clean so I'm hand washing. And I don't want to have dishpan hands for BlogHer!!!11!!!

  18. Okay, all the things I could comment, but here's what I'm saying: "That DARN sock???" You kill me!

  19. If it weren't for barf, we wouldn't have any measure for a "good" day. Just to make you feel better -- I just cleaned up enough barf off the bathroom floor that I had to wash both shower curtains and clean the door hinges... Feel better? ;)

    Socks or no socks, I don't think there's much hope for the deep south. Besides, who has time to knit -- I'm trying to work out how this frickin Math-U-See works!