Monday, March 07, 2011

Unkindest Cut Of All

I was feeling rather intrepid last Friday as I headed for my long-awaited hairstyling appointment.  After all,  my previous haircut (wherein I threw off the shackles of the matronly bob) had gone very well; and I knew that all I had to do was walk into the salon, sit in the same stylist's chair, and say, "Do it again!"

"Do it again!"  3 simple words...

Instead I said, "Do you think you could give it that slanted bang all the teen girls have?"  Not that I fancy myself a fashionable young thing; I was just hoping to diminish the overwhelming effect of my somewhat large forehead.  On a bad day, I look like a Benjamin Franklin impersonator.

Somehow, that one little request gummed up the works.  "Slanted bangs," I said.  Somehow, that phrase encouraged my formerly reliable hair stylist to attack my long thick tresses with all the delirious abandon of a whirling dervish.  I had walked into the salon with stylish (if somewhat over-long) hair, hoping for a slight trim and a little pizzazz; I walked out looking remarkably like Carol Brady during her shag-haircut phase.

Like this...only I'm not smiling
Actually, no.  I wish I looked like Carol Brady.  Due, however, to my particular coloring and face shape, I more closely resemble a different icon of 70's TV - Keith Partridge.  The similarity is unmistakable.  All afternoon I said to myself, "I do not look like Keith Partridge," as if the mere act of uttering the words would change physical reality.  But the confused look on Larry's face when he came home told me all I needed to know.

I look like Keith Partridge.

Now if Larry would just stop humming "I Woke Up in Love This Morning"...

[Benjamin Franklin image: Physics World]
[Carol Brady image: Hollywood Dame]
[Keith Partridge image: Chickengoddess]


  1. You have got to post a picture! Just black out your eyes or something!

  2. Snort!
    Oh well. This too shall grow out.

    btw, it's my experience that hairstylists often can't do it again, except with the bob & the crewcut. Everything else comes out different each time.

  3. We need a picture! Then we can decide. You can blur out your face if necessary. ;-)

  4. Sorry. That was so bad.

    Seriously? I think Keith Partridge is way better than George Washington, which was exactly how I looked they last time I walked out of my former hairdresser's salon.

    I know how frustrating it is to get a cut you don't like. I'd remind you that it will grow, but you know that part. Maybe highlights or hair product or accessories meanwhile?


  5. P.S. What's the slanted bang? I did not know about this. Should I have known? Dare I ask?

    I'm done. Really. I know. Three comments after months of dry spell . . . well, I'll just let myself out the back door now.

  6. Whoever Keith Partridge is, he is a very pretty girl.

  7. Surely (Shirley?) it can't be that bad. Has it improved your singing?

  8. You didn't think you were going to just post this and go on your merry ole way did you? We need pictures!

  9. Ohhhhh noes :( This is why I pay my girl cash out the yin-yang. She CAN do it again. And does. I've been there, though, and I sympathize.

  10. Thanks for the LOL moment. :)
    I... I... feel your pain...

  11. Keith Partridge was a hottie. Can I have your autograph?

    I'm sure you look much better than you think you look.

  12. Keith is actually pretty.

    Can you make some styling adjustments? Nobody likes an unfortunate haircut.

  13. Okay, you gave me an enormous belly laugh! I'm sure it's not THAT bad. I mean, a mullet with bangs? For real?

  14. It could be worse, you could have Danny hair, which is what I expect mine will look like if I shorten it. Maybe, I'm better off staying Franklinish.

  15. Sigh, at least you don't look like a poodle. I have REALLY curly hair, and after unfortunate attempts at growing longer, just got a cut. I look like someone from a heavy metal hair bad from the 80's. Something is just wrong about the shape. I'd go in to have it fixed, but I can't figure out what I want it to look like.

  16. OMG - I have a hair dresser appointment tomorrow afternoon! And now I am afraid...

    btw - I loved the whole Patridge family when I was young - am I old now or what? ;-)

  17. Cheri stole my "I think I love you."

    But, once again, you made me crack up laughing! Thank you!