Sunday, December 11, 2011

Self Awareness

I've realized a few things about myself lately:

I am the only blogger alive who does not care whether or not she learns to take better photos.  No matter how you focus it, a finger up the nose is a finger up the nose.

I am never going to be able to eat whatever I want and stay thin.  It only took me 35 years to figure that one out.

This is me, only I don't have a cat.  Yet.
Without a baby to take care of, I'm nothing but a disorganized slob without a purpose in life.  What's more, I'm okay with that.

If the above thought starts bothering me, I knit until it goes away.

I really don't like to cook anymore.  I used to.  I even baked my own rye bread, for heaven's sake.  I dabbled in yogurt-making, too.  That's all behind me now.  The time I used to spend cooking, I now spend finding coupons for 5-dollar pizzas and buy one/get one free entrees.  Also?  Kids Eat Free deals...those rock.

I know I sound jaded, but I'm not.  I still get excited about rain puddles, snowstorms, and long walks in the park.

Boy, if I were ever to use an online dating site, I guess that last sentence would be a start.  No pina coladas, though.

Larry's not going to like the online-dating joke.  But he's probably still mad about the shirt.  I could write an online-dating blurb for him, too:  

Seeking SWWLP (Single Woman Who Likes Plaid).  Catching your own damn stinkbugs a plus!

I never really understood this song.  Shouldn't they have been mad at each other for secretly posting personal ads?

[Knitter image: The Unappreciated Knitter]


  1. Well, the way I see it, there's a lot more time to be excited about things like rain puddles and snowstorms if you don't have to cook or calculate the points in all your meals :-)

  2. Yes, they should have been angry with each other...never made sense to me at all.
    Go Knit. It will make you happy :)

  3. Kids Eat Free is only great as long as the kids are amenable to eating off the kids' menu. The day that all the spawn insist that they NEED MORE FOOD (insert zombie voice), all bets are off and all-you-can-eat buffets become your new bestest friend EVAH.

    I'm just sayin'.

  4. I'm with you on the burned out parenting and mothering thing. Some days (like today)I try really hard to hide in my room and hope nobody notices.

  5. I knew there were even more reasons I liked you so much! I hate that Pina Colada song for the same reason... yada-yada, was going to cheat but hahahahaha. NOT.

    Also, the problem with retired husbands is that they discover things about their wives that those wives would prefer to keep from them (see disorganized slob reference).

  6. We only have one kid that is still young enough to eat from the kids menu, and he doesn't really eat much so free kid's meal coupons aren't that great for us.
    What we really need is a few "free teenage boy meal" coupons.

  7. Alas, my breadmaking days are over, too. I used to crank out 8 loaves a week and keep the whole family fed. Now, with no one left at home, they stop by the house and look at my empty fridge. "Where are the leftovers?, they say. "What, no cake?" "There's no food here!" I suppose in their eyes, it is pretty barren around here.

    Geez, if I kept food around like that I'd be huge. My new go to food...omelets. They make breakfast, lunch and dinner so easy!

  8. You forgot to include in the personal ad- wants 6 stepchildren...

  9. I do the pizza thing about every other week. Than I start to feel guilty. I guess that guilt will go away eventually?

  10. There used to be an add with Sandy Dennis eating Wheat Thins. She was perky as hell. Mom used to tell me "if I eat enough Wheat Thins, I'll be as thin as she is." Not so much.

  11. @Murr - You're not the only one old enough to remember the annoying perkiness of Sandy Dennis. But wait - wasn't it Sandy Duncan? Anyway, Wheat Thins are like crack - I can't even allow them in my house. I make the children choke down Triscuits instead.

  12. As my daughter and her friends used to say (annoying the hell out of me). About the cooking and the song? Me too! Sames!

  13. My desire to cook depends on who is home.. If its just the kids and I, we hit the local 7-11 for the best sushi around...

    I tried eating whatever I wanted, my pants shrunk!