Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Missing My Paycheck

I drive David and his friends to Civil Air Patrol every Tuesday evening, and then I go to a local Starbucks (with a fireplace and lots of seating) to get some work done until it is time to pick them up.  I've been doing this for 4 years now, and we're pretty much settled into this routine.  I am a creature of habit, you know; and I loves my routines.

Only now? I'm unemployed.  I started my editing job just before David joined CAP at age 12, I'm realizing; so now, for the first time, I have no real reason to be sitting here waiting for the kids to finish their activity.  And you know what else?  Surfing the Internet is way more fun when you are avoiding work than when you simply have nothing to do.  It's true. 

I've brought my knitting, of course.  But I'm not sure I can knit for 2 solid hours without anyone to talk to.  That would be sort of crazy-making for me.  Also, shockingly enough, no one pays me to do that.  I definitely need a new job, but I'm beginning to think that my current method of looking for work (sitting around and waiting for a job to land in my lap) isn't going to do the trick.

Life is so unfair.

But hey - a friend and I have a business idea: we're going to open a therapy/support center specifically for the parents of teens.  There would be coffee and hugs and a lot of positive visualization of kids growing up and moving out of the house.  Also?  Practice dialogues where the parents rehearse saying NO when the teen asks to go to a coed slumber party or wants to drive 16 friends somewhere in the family minivan.  We'd offer lots of positive reinforcement as the parents practice, so they can feel good about doing what is essentially a thankless task.  There could even be special group sessions, with titles such as the following:

DO NOT be fooled - this kid will drive you mad in 15 years.
 "How To Talk So Your Teen Will Shut Up and Do the Dishes Already"


"What To Expect When You're Expecting Your Teen Home by 11 and It's Past Midnight"

or even

"The Magic Years - They're Long Over, So Stop Scrapbooking and Make Sure To Install a 5-Camera Security System on the Exterior of Your House."

And, yes, another friend of mine DID have to resort to that last idea.  Raising teens isn't for wimps, you know.


  1. Ha ha! This is great. Sign me up!

    1. Should we offer yearly memberships or make it a fee-for-service thing? So many details to iron out...

  2. Or as I say, "parenting teens is not for faint of heart."

  3. I guess I really lucked out with my teens. But I've only had two.

  4. You slay me.
    One of my HS girlfriends installed security at her house for the same reason! Crazy. But then, we were back then...

  5. Thankfully, they do grow up and become adults. Although as mine are 50ish, they seem to think their mother is too old to live alone and make rational decisions. Wait! didn't we do this 35 yrs ago?

  6. Ha ha, sign me up and I could add some suggestions for future talks:

    You, your teen, and the police.

    Are you there, child? It's me, mommy. Answer your damn phone.

    The Crimson Tide: When mothers and their daughters have their periods at the same time and how to cope.

  7. Tsetse flies -- are they really responsible? Or is your child just a slug?

    Electronics Deficit Disorder and what to do if your teenager accidentally becomes unplugged.

    "STOP EATING!" Or how to make sure they snack at their friends'.

  8. I would so like to join you at that Starbucks to laugh (and cry) over these things. Yes, I am kicking myself for not getting out on a Tuesday night when I still lived on the East Coast -- it seemed like such a long drive then, but now it is so very much farther. :(

  9. omg - hilarious post and comments. will there be tween seminars too? coming off of a 48 hour tween tantrum today, I could use something along the lines of "stop screaming at me-how to ride the tween mania train"