Thursday, November 13, 2014

Budgetary and Dromedary Almost Rhyme, Right?

I ended up buying some more yarn, because that stupid Michael's coupon went on for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, and have I mentioned that I can walk to that store from my house?  So, yeah, it's getting a little ridiculous here.  And then, because I am suffering from an extreme case of start-itis, I cast on for a hat for Susie.  Because I didn't have enough to knit already, with 5 other projects on the needles.

Tried to pose it with flowers, but flowers were too tall.

So now I have to explain to Larry that, what with the yarn and the winter clothes and my weekly trip to Costco, I seem to have gone way over budget and could we just pretend I didn't do that and start fresh this payday?  I mean, just get my regular amount of money and not subtract for the things that ended up on the credit card the past 2 weeks or so? You know, a sort of amnesty? Larry? Larry?

Incidentally, this seems to happen somewhere towards the end of every year, where I end up one whole payday behind.  In a perfect world, we would have one extra payday per year, conveniently situated in November; but I guess that simply isn't possible in this post-Eden existence of ours.

All this might explain, by the way, why Larry insists on our staying on a mostly cash basis around here.  Of course, he set up that system before Internet shopping even existed.  I can't even remember how I managed to spend too much money back then, when everything was bought in person and stores were fussy about how you paid them.  I mean, seriously, people, I remember being in a McDonalds with a friend and her kids in 1998 or so, and we were short on cash and THEY DIDN'T EVEN TAKE CREDIT CARDS.  Also? DEBIT CARDS DID NOT EXIST.  This boggles my mind. How did we pay for fries back then?  I think I had to watch the kids while my friend jumped into her horse and buggy and drove down the street to an ATM.

Dark times, people, dark times....

Oh, and while I was taking that amazing picture of Susie's hat-to-be up there, I noticed in the background (before I cropped them out) 2 MORE CAMELS that have sneaked into my house.

I think they are mugs. See? The neck is the handle.

I probably shouldn't keep talking about my camel problem here.  I mean, before you know it, my Sitemeter stats will show people Googling "camels" and landing on this blog.  I'll start getting emails from animal rights enthusiasts who will want me to plug "Save the Camel" campaigns in my posts.  My subheading might even have to change to "Kids! Vomit! Camels!" because my entire online identity will have undergone a seismic shift, due to my eldest's predilection for gifting me with the beast-of-burden-that-shall-not-be-named.

On the other hand, I just managed to use the future perfect tense in a blog post.  So maybe even being saddled with dromedaries (get it? Saddled - oh, I slay me) has a bright side.  I mean, if you care about stuff like that...


12 comments:

  1. Remember when you could go write a check at the bank the day before payday and get cash back?

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  2. Wow. That extra paycheck in November is a great idea. Why hasn't anyone thought of it before? You crack me up.

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  3. I'm here for the inevitable hump jokes.

    I couldn't operate on a cash basis because I've gotten thousands (three humps!) of credit card rewards and cash-back money.

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  4. I love your use of the future perfect tense, and the fact that you know what it is.

    I am thinking that the world is waiting for a poem which uses the "budgetary dromedary" rhyme. Or is that just me?

    Some people get to my blog by googling "gaboon viper" which I posted about once. I imagine they are extremely disappointed by my blog.

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  5. My husband gets a bonus check in November that is equal to an extra paycheck and we have had unexpected car repairs every year except one, and that year we had to replace our burst hot water heater. It's a conspiracy I tell ya'.

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  6. UGH. I HATE it when paychecks don't come on time.
    And camels. That's the seriously weirdest kind of animal to make anything out of. I mean cats, pigs, cows, even monkeys I get. But CAMELS?

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  7. In Germany, when you're really luckily (and nowadays this is rare!), you get so called "christmas money", about 70% of your usual paycheck in addition to the usual amount. I just received mine today. I am over the moon and ready to online-shop :-D

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  8. The new job pays bimonthly rather than every two weeks. I'm waiting for the month when the grocery shopping doesn't line up right with the paycheck.

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  9. I'll put in a plug for "Kids! Vomit! Mice! Now With Menopause! And Camels!"

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    1. Yes, it does have a certain ring to it, doesn't it?

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  10. Sorry, I was distracted by Susie's bright pink hat and the Operation Shoebox, so I missed the camels. On the other hand, with the exception of OS, I am refusing to think about December -- especially since I have not managed to accommodate all of November into my life.

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  11. Love that yarn color! I'm a sucker for pink. "Saddled" - you crack me up. Just don't start putting "Camel toes" in your blog or you're in for a whole 'nother blog identity seismic shift. It's probably a fetish.

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