Friday, April 10, 2009

Raising The Bar

Y'all can join me in despising the folks who did this study. Apparently, a simple date night is no longer good enough to save your marriage. Nope, a stroll through town, a stop at an ice cream shop, or the sharing of a good movie at your local cinema just won't cut it anymore if you want to keep your relationship from tanking; it seems, instead, that you have to do something exciting and novel with your spouse in order to keep the love alive. Go skiing! Take dance lessons together! Take a cruise on an ill-fated ship!

Ever feel like people just keep raising the bar on you? It takes a Herculean effort just for Larry and I to carve out an hour or so a week to go out together. Now we have to make it unusual, or even thrilling?

I think we might as well call that divorce lawyer right now.

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And by the way, oh worshipful Google, "romantic" is not synonymous with "naked" or "having sex." Now that I've searched for a Google image of a "romantic couple," I'll have to explain to Larry what all those, um, interesting pictures are doing on our computer history. Thanks a lot.


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24 comments:

  1. My hubby and I have plans for tomorrow. It is going to be novel that we have a "date" at all. Perhaps we should have planned activities more exciting than getting the tires changed though.

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  2. OMG you just made me laugh! And, frankly, gave me some good advice. I am pretty sure I would be arrested here if I opened a scandalous website!!

    And YOU'RE RIGHT! That DOES piss me off too! Why can't anyone be happy/content with what they have -I don't know, perhaps find peace with yourself so you do not force others to bring you joy/excitement/thrills. That's just retarded.

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  3. We don't even get "date night out". Once a month the church has "parents' night out", but I usually have to stay and help out. Apparently, it doesn't bother the other parents when the mother of two autistic children works on parents' night out. Grr.

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  4. Oh Snork! My marriage is DOOMED as well. My husband and I have had exactly 2 dates in the last 5 months. Not because we don't want to, but because we've got a couple of psyco kids that would inflict damage on house and siblings if we venture further than 10 feet from them.
    Plus, my idea of spicing up the dates would be to buy red hots at the theather!
    Maybe they should study how many marriages could be saved if the hubster helps out more around the house.

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  5. How about you look at all the pictures of "romantic couples" with Larry as your novel and exciting togetherness time? ;-)

    And the author is obviously an adrenaline junkie, one of those crazy people for whom jumping out of perfectly good airplanes is "fun". Weirdo.

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  6. Ah what do they know! You and Larry are doing great even if you cut out an hour together :) I've been married for 17+ and have a 15, 12, 11, and 9 month old and we call our "date" a trip to the grocery and a quick dinner (with our 9 mo old in tow) and still love each other, most of the time :) I think the couples that need that much will fizzle out quick. Love your blog!

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  7. Hmm. I think it is important that people just be together. No words needed. You need to be comfortable in the silence. Not constantly filling it up with chatter - or excitement.... I mean you have to be able to converse too - but if you are not comfortable in the silence... my husband and I basically decided to get married because we believed we would be able to grow old together - we envision sitting in our rockers on a porch one day completely at rest in the other's presence,

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  8. My belief is that studies like that are paid for by the folks who sell dancing lessons, skis, etc. My husband and I have never done those things and we've been married 33 years today. When we travel, it's usually to meet old friends and hang out with them for a few days. If we decide we want to do something exciting, we find a new place to eat out. I think it all boils down to the fact that we love each other and enjoy each other's company--no matter what we're doing.

    My philosophy: don't pay no never-mind to those studies!

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  9. your thrill could be dropping yet another coke in the new car.

    or drop granola bars in the back seat.

    franzi

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  10. We hardly get a date night around here with five kids, but we do try to get naked and be romantic on a regular basis. I hope its enough to keep us going! So far so good for sixteen years.

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  11. We bought a restaurant together. We have 18 more years of mortgage payments so we'd better stay together at least that much longer. And it is so romantic firing people together. We do have date night every Sat. and I like him more than I did when the kids were little and I was always tired and stressed out. I think it depends on the couple too. If you make the decision to stay married and change together, it is a better relationship. If you expect that person to be the same forever, you are sadly mistaken and setting yourself up to fail.

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  12. Can I just say"Pshaw!" to that study. The food court at Costco certainly can qualify as a date.

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  13. Date night? I don't think I know what that is. Doesn't a bottle of wine and a movie at home after the kids go to bed count? Now I have to actually hire a babysitter and do something exciting?

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  14. Without any offense to those who find them valuable (and if you do find them so, they are) my husband and I HOWL at the concept of "date nights." Seriously...when you want to go out, you do. When you want time to your self, you do. When you want intimacy, you do. How does it all work? Communication trump scheduling if you ask me!

    Studies schmudies. One that always kills me is the one that declares that breadtfed infants have higher IQs than non-breastfed infants. WHAT? How do you get a control group on that study? How do you know how the SAME child would score if fed differently? There's no way. (and this from a mom who breastfed...)

    Lawsy, I'm on a rant..Happy Easter!
    (My husband just came down from doing the taxes upstairs and sat with me on the couch. THAT'S datenight in my book!)

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  15. That last quote cracked me up! "Don't make plans...see what happens to you!" I know what will happen...two laptops, two seats on the couch... snooze...

    Who ARE these people? Did you know (shocked tone) that there are people who still love each other after 10 years of marriage! Yes! True, pinky swear. I read it in the NY Times.

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  16. Really? That's insane! Although I think we can write off DIY plumbing projects as adding adventure to our relationship...

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  17. If my dh & I were to try some of those things, we are just as likely to come up arguing as we are to feel any closer! Good grief!
    Our "date night" last night consisted of 20 quiet minutes spent on the deck, listening to the birds and waiting for dinner to cook on the grill. It was peaceful and full of contentment. I think that is a nice way to celebrate to a good marriage (Over 21 years and counting) ... Then he called out to the kids: "Dinnertime!"

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  18. Better erase more than your computer search history (after you explain it to Larry, of course!). You can erase your Google history: enter r and you should get a list of everything that has been looked up under that first letter. Use the down arrow key to get to "romantic couples" so you can delete it. You wouldn't want Anna finding that one...

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  19. We walked around Ann Arbor today after stopping by the spring football scrimmage. We stopped at this little Middle Eastern diner to get lunch. Then we walked some more.

    I guess maybe I should look for an attorney myself. Damn. And I loved our date today.

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  20. that movie was crap. romantic crap. google take note: romance=crap not naked.

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  21. That would make for some thrilling, exciting and novel conversation with Larry. I would say for this week mission accomplished and your marriage is saved.

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  22. Have you ever noticed how all these people who suggest these things never include going to church or worshiping together, or praying together. I have been married 22 years, yes to the same person. We have kids, 12 and 17, and have never had a single date night. But God has always been first in our marriage. Followed by the kids. We do things as a family, but we have also raised our kids old school. They are by no means perfect, but they are well behaved, considerate kids. Doing something EXCITING is not going to save your marriage. Maybe I should write a book.

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  23. The good news for me is that the reporter ended the article saying "you don't have to swing from the chandeliers". Good, because we don't have any. Maybe my marriage will last!!

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  24. I think you're doing awesome if you're carving out an hour a week for each other. That article is just a capitalist plot to get people spending and improve the economy. If you really need novel, just stand on your head for him, or learn belly dancing (then tell your husband to pretend you look like those dancers on the TV you're trying to copy.)

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