Saturday, April 11, 2009

Ahead Of The Curve

Last night in the bookstore, a gentleman came to my register to buy Have A New Kid By Friday. Its subtitle reads How To Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior, and Character In Five Days. Being a teen-weary mom, I was intrigued.

"That looks interesting - think it'll work?" I said.
"Oh, yeah," he said. "Of course, it expects parents to be a little stricter than is common nowadays."
"Well, sometimes that's necessary," I said, happy to be communing with another seasoned parent. "How old is your kid?"

[Whaddaya think? 6? 11? 24? Guess again.]

(Beaming proudly) "She's due in July."

Maybe that was my problem: I didn't start disciplining my kids early enough. Like, in utero...


  1. Oh yeah. Tom and I took a Redirecting Children's Behavior class last year. One of the couples in the class was planning to have children. I swear.

  2. HAHAHA!!! You know he's going to go home and read the first two pages, decide that he should really read it later once the baby is older, and then promptly forgets he ever bought it.

    And one more monster child is brought into the world!!! THIS is why I do not have kids - I would totally raise a monster!! My dogs weren't even well behaved!

  3. rofl....that made my day! reay did!


  4. LOL ~ My husband began practicing for a girl while the first baby was still in utero... he'd say things like "No slumber party for you, young lady!" and [to the future boyfriend] "I want you and your Nova outta here!"
    Maybe that's why we had all boys?

    Hope you are having a blessed Passover/Easter!

  5. Oh gosh. Nothing like a good belly laugh to start the day off right. Thank you!

  6. yeah i was one of those freaks who read the mother/daughter connection while J was in utero. :I

  7. I'm sure that book will come in handy when the baby is waking every 1/2 hour at night! (ha!)

  8. The only parenting book my husband ever bought was How to Get Your Child to Sleep Through the Night. And that one didn't work. He wound up sleeping with whatever current kid it was we were having a problem with.

    So at least that dad wants to educate himself. Probably he's thinking about what a monster discipline problem he was and remembering his mother's curse that he should have a child JUST LIKE HIM!

    Happy Easter!

  9. ROFL!

    I must admit I tried the brainwashing in utero trick. I used to croon at my huge belly, "You will be born quickly; no long labours for you. You will sleep through the night by six weeks. You will always obey me and love me best." And it worked! Maybe I should write a book ;)

  10. Dr Leman was in my area giving a series of parenting seminars recently. A friend of mine and I went, and he's pretty spot on with what he says. I decided to borrow my copy of the book from the library, instead of buying it. So far I'm only on Monday's assignment. It's meeting with some different results than I've been getting.
    And my dentist and his new wife were in attendance. I was in the office that morning for 2 of the kids' teeth, and we were talking about parenting. I said "parenting is a lot of trial and error." He responded with "Well, we're hoping to cut that learning curve a bit before we start."

  11. I tried to strangle my son with his umbilical cord. But did he learn? Noooooo.

    Actually, I just read and enjoyed "Get out of my life! (but first can you take me and Cheryl to the mall?)." Although my 12 year old daughter picked it up and read parts of it and said "this guy doesn't know anything." And she knows everything so she must be right.

  12. Ho! I made that same wonder I'm such a mess!