Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Slip Of The Grip

The pristine condition of my beloved new minivan inspired me to do something I have never even attempted before: I banned all eating in the car. It's been over 3 weeks, and the prohibition stands. That's not to say it's been easy; it's not every woman that could listen to her 6-year-old daughter shriek for 20 minutes and still not hand her the (sealed) box of granola bars in the front seat. But 2 decades (almost) of child rearing has toughened me - I managed to quell any motherly guilt that tried to seep through and remained stalwart in my determination not to let the kids trash my beautiful new vehicle.

So, you can appreciate the irony yesterday of my dropping a full Coke (with ice) when I lifted it out of the driver's cupholder, as my 4 youngest children gawked with horror. The car filled with the sound of their shocked silence (which, as I have discussed before, can be a very loud thing) as 12 ounces of caramel-colored liquid dispensed itself all over the center console, the floorboards and the driver's seat (but not over the knitting, thank goodness - it missed the knitting). And then, someone piped up, "Hey, Mommy, I thought you said..."

"Look," I interrupted. "I'll give you all some candy if you don't tell Daddy."

Their lips are sealed. Accomplished hypocrite that I am, I have retained the ban on food in the car. I don't need no stinkin' moral authority to run a dictatorship.

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26 comments:

  1. Well, I think technically drinking is not eating -- unless of course the kids do it.

    You do realize that you have now given them blackmail material, right?? Because that is TOTALLY would I would have done (and frankly, still might).

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  2. At least you're just a hypocrite. I'm a blamer. I probably would have tried to find a way to blame one of the children--they distracted me or something. I'm mean like that.

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  3. OMG! Tell me it was at least DIET Coke. Sometimes I have nightmares about spilling sweet tea in the console...

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  4. I have a ban also...on everyoone but me...and then I did the same thing-

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  5. I can so relate. Every time I clean out the car I ban all food items.... then slowly, they creep back in. Smuggled poptarts, suckers from the bank drive thru....
    Last new car I had, I had a no food policy - and all was fine and dandy until Mr. S dropped a completely full root beer float into the passenger floorboard. Lasers could have shot from my eyes....

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  6. I hope you had a Sham-Wow handy. Now that it's broken in, are you gonna cave? Or are you going to stay strong (after 20 years of parenting!) and continue the ban? ;-)

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  7. I found this a very hard thing to police, as we have the same ban, but more than once I've looked in the rear-view mirror and discovered that someone is eating the orange or the yogurt they were supposed to eat at orning tea time at school.

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  8. "I don't need no stinkin' moral authority to run a dictatorship."

    Brilliant.

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  9. I banned food and drinks after my kids were blowing through their Slurpee straws and shooting the cherry beverage up to the ceiling of the car.

    I do feel your pain over the coke, though.

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  10. Yikes! Were you able to clean it? A Coke exploded in my husband's car one very hot afternoon and he still has Coke stains on the ceiling above the drink holder.

    I commend you on the no eating in the car rule. The only time mine aren't fighting or whining in the car is when they are eating. More power to you!!!

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  11. I did the same thing in our new (used) minivan!

    Coke must be some sort of minivan baptism...

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  12. Wow---I'm speechless.

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  13. Same thing...except replace coke with 20 oz. steaming hot cappuccino. Brand new van and kids watching. Good times!

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  14. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

    dang...I wish I could bribe my kids with candy. They are such tattle tails!

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  15. Love it! Your stories always make me smile.

    Kari B

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  16. It seems that every time I get a "new" (to me) car I always end up dumping a drink in the front seat within a week. Pink lemonade in the car I got after graduating high school, and Sprite in the car I got a few years later when that one died. I bought a "new" car a few weeks ago, and two days later my sister dropped a platefull of our brother's wedding cake in the back seat and my mom dumped a glass of water in the front seat.

    Congrats on the new van!

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  17. I heard of a family that, when they purchased a new car, would take a hammer and put a dent in it somewhere to intentionally remove such tension.

    Not sure if I could do that.

    ~Luke

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  18. I think since YOU ARE THE MOMMY it's okay. But that is dang funny.
    I always get that ban going too after I clean out the momvan. And I always cave after a while. I am weak.

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  19. I cleaned out my SILs car once and found chicken bones in it. Ewww...

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  20. I totally think it was worth it for the moment of complete silence from your offspring. Did any of them get wet?

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  21. Don't you love irony? I've spilled a latte in mine.

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  22. ROFLMAO!!!!! No way you bribed the kids with candy not to tell dad. I so love that.

    and yeah I banned food from my car, except diet coke does not count as food. Really. But boy does it make a mess......

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  23. Well, you banned food, not drinks.

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  24. Same rule when I was growing up. I'm not sure why my parents were worried about black vinyl seats getting sticky...
    We just got back from a trip and the van is a MESS. I made the boys clean out the garbage and the recycling today. Vacuuming will soon follow.
    Obviously, I don't use that rule.

    I commend you on saving the knitting. Always look on the bright side of life! (feel free to whistle now)

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  25. Ah, a woman after her own heart!

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  26. Did I miss the post on where to stash the knitting in the minivan that you promised us?

    I am one of those horrible people who allows eating in the car. I know, we're Cretins.

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