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Showing posts from June, 2017

Lazy Days of Summer - Plus Yarn

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Band camp has started, so Susie trudges off each day with her saxophone to spend 4 hours learning the finer points of, well, whatever it is sax players do.

And, please, if there's anything cuter than a kid with a saxophone, I don't know what it is. Back in my day, no one I knew, except Clarence Clemons (and I didn't really know him, of course, I just knew OF him), played saxophone. Not kids, anyway...

Where the heck was I? Oh, so Susie heads out each morning for the band camp carpool and I spend the next 4 hours exercising plus getting all the cooking, housecleaning, laundry, and yard work done.

Ha, ha, ha. No, I don't do that. That's what I should be doing. And, to be fair, I did generate this pile of weeds today:

But that was about it this morning.  I mean, I did get over 6000 steps, too, so you can check fitness off that to-do list. But I didn't bother with the cooking today (hey, I cooked yesterday - potato salad, tortellini salad, sesame noodles, and a wei…

Fresh Air

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Oh, my, what a beautiful day! After spending all of Friday and Saturday literally whining about the humidity (I swear, it was nauseating - I couldn't even get Susie out to the pool), Mother Nature has blessed us with a few days of quintessentially June weather - warm sun, cool air - that makes you glad to be alive.

But during those 2 days of punishing humidity, I still played my "let's see how long we can go without air conditioning" game. You see, our house has an east-west orientation (with no side windows, as it's a rowhouse); so, by judiciously opening and shutting windows on the correct side of the house at the correct points in the day, I can usually maintain an indoor temp that is lower than the temperature outdoors. This has become an obsession of mine: I spring out of bed to make sure the proper windows are open and cooling the house before the sun gets high; I text the kids to close the deck doors by 9:30, when the morning sun starts slanting in there; …

Let There Be Cake

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My birthday started out on the perfect note: my fit friend came by in the morning to take a walk with me (because my FitBit takes no vacations, apparently) and handed me a gift. "Excuse the bag," she said. "I would have run late if I tried to find one that was appropriate for the occasion."

I like my friends.

Larry and the kids gave me a new IPad, which I totally wasn't expecting, even though the one I inherited from my Dad (from 2012) takes forever to open up now, to the point where we had sort of given up on using it much. This one is also lighter and therefore easier on my wrists, but it still feels very extravagant. In fact, this particular purchase makes me wonder whether Larry has any household renovation plans up his sleeve.

Or maybe it was just to make up for the fact that Larry also gave me the As Seen On TV Veggetti.


Granted, this item did happen to be on my Amazon list, but only because I thought I might pick it up as a fun thing for the girls to use…

Birthday Prep

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Tomorrow? I turn 54 (which someone pointed out to me is a deck of cards and 2 jokers, and I'm not really sure what that implies, but let's pretend it's somehow meaningful); so I've been busy (this being my birthday week) making sure that tomorrow is a day of unalloyed joy. And by unalloyed joy, I mean that maybe I will get to go to the mall by myself and try on shirts and maybe even find some that fit properly over my matronly bust and waistless middle.

I don't ask for much, people. I really don't.

Meanwhile, Larry can't seem to understand that when he orders gifts from Amazon, the email announcing the purchase AND the email announcing their shipment both go directly to me. So, for the record, it's looking as though he didn't learn much from the bagel slicer incident last year. It's sort of cute, actually, in a clueless sort of way.

You really have to read about the bagel slicer, if you haven't already. It's classic Larry.

So, yeah, busy…

Chew On This

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I see all sorts of things advertised on my Facebook feed. In fact, that's how I usually find out that Larry is planning to buy something, because it sure as heck wasn't MY Google searches that prompted Facebook to show me ads for kayaks and all their many accoutrements. And, of course, I will take full responsibility for all the yarn ads that I see. But sometimes an ad shows up out of nowhere. Say, an ad for a product like this one.

You didn't click, did you? You never do. Fine, here's a picture:




You know, I have 4 grown or almost grown children, and nary a one has asked me, "Say, where did you put all my baby teeth, anyway?" In fact, Anna managed to swallow half of hers by mistake.

That's not just us, is it? I hope not.

Okay, I just realized there is also a space for the umbilical cord there. I don't even know what to say about that. I'm surprised there's no compartment for fingernail clippings, is all.

Seriously, people, don't buy this. …

Cool As A Cucumber

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Now, I know I've written about my refrigerator (many times) before, all about the mess and the strange things I find there and the over-proliferation of condiment containers. But,seriously, ever since November, when the French door fridge with the bottom freezer (that I have been lusting after for years) entered my life, I've been making a real effort to keep this appliance and the situation therein under control.

So, with my trusty compost bucket handy, I've (mostly) been managing to get rid of rotting produce and moldering leftovers weekly. I've also been waging a (mostly unsuccessful) battle to keep the fridge organized, so that food items don't get shoved to the back and wasted.

It's my life's work, people. Respect it.

What with all this dedication and effort, imagine my surprise this morning to find the item pictured below in my refrigerator, in the plastic bin reserved for salsa and mustard jars (yes, they do have their own section, shut up):


That is…

A Good Yarn

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It's hard to find time to blog (says the gal who wasted a good 45 minutes on Facebook this morning), but I constantly have things running through my head to tell you. Plus pictures!

The closet experiment hit a snag this morning. See that build-up of shoes on the floor there? Probably because it is SO HARD to place them in the conveniently hung SHOE HOLDERS that are in your face every time you open the closet doors. I mean, sheesh, am I expecting people to figure that out? I'm a monster, I am.

No matter, my new system is so good, all I had to do was pick up those shoes and slide them into their slots. I don't appreciate being everyone's maid; but for the sake of a closet that inspires joy, I'll do it. That, plus I dock allowances.

Hey, I'm not a saint, okay?

Yesterday my friends and I attended a fiber festival. "A what?" asked the neighbor I walk with each morning. I forget that, in most circles, "fiber festival" means nothing. "A fiber …

Drill, Baby, Drill

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Quickly, before I head out to Knit Night...

I had my (newly expensive) dental appointment today. Apparently it is possible to get a cavity in the root of your tooth beneath a crown. Who knew? And when that happens, the dentist has to break the old (also expensive, but not as expensive as now) crown, fix the tooth, and then make you a brand spanking new crown.

Did I mention expensive? Oh, okay then.

Only, it didn't happen. Oh, it started to happen. I spent an hour and a half in the dentist's office and received three (count them, THREE) different shots of Novocaine. I couldn't feel my tongue or my throat by the end of it.

I could, however, feel that darn drill. Yup. Seems I have an auxiliary nerve on that side of my mouth that is hard to hit with the Novocaine. In fact, we had the same problem 10 years ago when he was working in that spot. I should have reminded him, I guess.

So we're trying again in 3 weeks. I can only assume that poor guy is going to give me 16 shots …

Bush League

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5 days, people - my closet has maintained a pristine state for 5 DAYS. This may be an all-time record for us. As you can see in that picture to the left (or right, I mix them up, and no, I would never be able to learn to drive in Great Britain), a few more outdoor toys have sneaked in (some jumpropes, bottles of bubbles); but they are all being neatly contained by that rectangular doo-hickey thingamabob that I picked up in IKEA at some point.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now, I'll tell you that. Add to that the fact that I actually went out and weeded the front yard and pulled out the ground cover that was threatening to choke some bush Larry planted there, and I'm practically a candidate for the Housekeeper of the Year Award.

Does that exist? I wouldn't know.

Today I get to wait around for Larry's kayak to be delivered. People, that man has been pining for one of these things for years; and he just managed to sell the rarely used canoe that he bough…

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

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I hosted Bunko in May, and we had a graduation party; but that was 3 weeks ago, which means that the decor theme in my house at this point can best be described as bygone festive.




















Nice look, right? They're almost Pinterest-worthy, in a macabre sort of way. But we also had Brian's birthday party way back in April, before I left for the train trip with Susie. That means a couple of slow-to-deflate Mylar balloons have been bobbing around the house for almost 2 months now. I'll tell you, you don't know terror until you are going downstairs in the dark and meet one of these things floating quietly up the stairwell toward you.

And then there are the garlands Susie put up (also for Brian's birthday). They took so much work, we were loath to take them down; and then there WAS the graduation party, and 2 weeks later there was Susie's birthday. So we've been able to rationalize having crepe paper streamers dangling from our living room ceiling, in full view of the fr…

Science - Not Just For Professionals Anymore

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Today I learned that it is indeed possible to put too much horseradish on a sandwich. Yes, even with a generous amount of mayonnaise mixed in, the heaping dollop of horseradish that I smeared on both slices of bread was enough to temporarily disable my tastebuds. On the bright side, however, my sinuses appear to have been permanently cleared.

Look, we can't ALL be busy discovering the cure for cancer. No, some of us must toil away in anonymity, devoting our lives to the pursuit of everyday household science, for the benefit of our fellow man. Today it may be about the sinus-clearing properties of horseradish; but in the past I have researched the multiplicatory effect of refrigerators upon condiments held therein (and invented the word "multiplicatory"), the inevitability of spousal miscommunication re paint colors, the lifespan of zucchini prior to self-liquidation, and many other fascinating scientific questions.



In other news, it has been over 48 hours and my hall clo…

Spring Cleaning

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I've been busy, busy, busy - but with less driving, yay! Turns out (you see, I forgot, duh) I currently have a licensed driver with HIS OWN CAR living in my house. So the other night, when Rachel texted me to pick her up from school at 5, and Brian was finishing up work at 5:15 during a torrential rainstorm that prevented him from walking home, Theo went out and got everyone, while I stayed home and made dinner.

Folks, that made all the difference. I felt better than I have in months, being able to focus on things I need to do at home, rather than running in and out of the house ALL THE TIME. I made TWO dinners, as a matter of fact - Skillet Lasagna (which, years ago, one of the kids affectionately dubbed Kill It! Lasagna as he stabbed at it with his fork, and yes, the name has stuck) and the miraculous lentil soup, which everyone liked AGAIN and believe me, this rivals the miracle of Fatima, in my book.

Unfortunately, Theo is leaving for a European hiking/Eurail vacation on Satu…