Saturday, May 03, 2008

No One Vomited Today

I know you are all just dying to hear another vomit story; thankfully, I do not have one for you. Larry and I are still waiting for the other shoe (other 6 shoes, actually) to drop, however. Stay tuned.

Is it just me, or does each day go by faster and faster? The hours today have melted away faster than an ice cream cone in hell.

It's not as if we're one of those over scheduled suburban families, either. Larry and I, being both cheap and lazy, have made a concerted effort not to sign up the kids for a zillion activities. That way, we figure, they can enjoy an old-fashioned childhood, complete with plenty of time to whine that they're bored and to get on each others' nerves.

Believe me, it is almost impossible to have a laidback lifestyle in today's suburban jungle. The peer pressure to be busy, busy, busy is incredible. Everyone around here is so busy, in fact, that if I want my 5-year-old daughter to have a play date, I need to schedule it a month in advance. Not that that bothers me, or anything...

So, what's our reward for our determination to run our lives in super slo-mo? We still have way too much to get done over the weekends; plus, we have a teen girl who resents the fact that we have neither the time nor the money to sign her up for everything she would like to do. And to take her clothes shopping when no other activity is available. Apparently, she was meant to be born into a wealthier and more type-A family.

The younger kids seem okay with our lifestyle, however. They spent the past few mornings taking turns watching the bird feeder and using a water pistol to shoot at the grackles which land there (grackles happen to be the schoolyard bullies of the bird world). The kids' aim is getting pretty good, too. Who says boredom can't be educational?

And, just in case this target practice gets old, Larry splurged and bought another Looney Tunes DVD set. We were a bit puzzled by the warning label on the cover, though:

LOONEY TUNES GOLDEN COLLECTION VOLUME 3 Is Intended for the Adult Collector and May Not Be Suitable for Children

What's up with that? Had our parents watched these cartoons after we went to sleep? Did Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd have some sort of relationship we had never suspected? Naturally, Larry and I couldn't wait to check these out. Turns out they were just warning us about the insidious racial stereotypes present in this old-time entertainment. Like we didn't know that Bugs Bunny's imitation of a WWII-era Japanese soldier was not funny. Not one bit.

We only laughed to be polite. Really. And because we are incredibly immature.


  1. glad no one vomited at your house. No one has slept at ours. hehe (B & K have sleep issues)

    We only laughed to be polite. Really. And because we are incredibly immature.

    that last line makes me laugh. your always crack me up. And thats the truth!

  2. Oh, good grief. I'm pretty darn certain the Looney Tunes isn't responsible for racism. Just a guess.

    I have the same attitude regarding activities. I love slow weekends, and I am definitely not a scheduler.

  3. We're pretty lax on the activities here too. Luckily ours don't complain too much. And I'm really lucky because my 9 yo has a friend down the street that also isn't over-scheduled. They call each other and arrange to play *that day*, in fact as soon as they can scooter down the street - several times a week.

    I'm still too busy though...

  4. Glad to hear that you're getting a bit of a break from the barf fest.
    Just tell the kids that you won't ever be able to sign them up for a gazillion activities because you are always too busy cleaning up all the puke messes.
    That way, you make it their fault;0)

  5. I struggle with the scheduling issue. My girls want to take dance and gymnastics. They like soccer. I teach them piano. They want to play. My older daughter has school. I'm not sure where to draw the line. We don't want to spend our lives in the car, but I don't want to deny them opportunities either.


    I'm glad everyone is feeling better.

  6. I'm sure your Anna and my Social Butterfly could have quite the commiseration session--never enough time or money for all the clothes they NEED.

  7. I so hear ya on the over-scheduling part. I have pledged to fight it with all my might upon my return to suburbia in - yikes - a little over 2 weeks.

    Glad everyone's healthy. For now.


  8. heidi - I can't wait to hear how New World suburbia looks to you, after your year away!

    jenn - if they had both only been born to kinder, richer parents...

    sue - too many opportunities out there nowadays - that's the problem.

    jill - it's true - I refuse to sign up for anything at all in Jan or Feb, because I know we'll miss too many sessions.

  9. AnonymousMay 04, 2008

    Years ago someone looked at the childhoods of famous genius-types to see what they had in common. One of the things they found was that these people tended to have an extended period where they were fairly isolated from their peers by illness, or living in a remote area or something like that. After hearing that, my motto became, "I'm not neglecting them - I'm raising geniuses!" One day when your daughter realizes what a genius she is, she'll thank you!

  10. AnonymousMay 04, 2008

    Oh, but your vomit stories are the best!

    I'm with you on the over scheduling of our kids.

    Whatever happened to..."You go play outside until I call you in for dinner and take your little sister with you."

    Heaven forbid we trust our kids to come up with ways to safely entertain themselves.

  11. I am SO with you on the scheduling!
    Only Scooter has an outside activity at present (Ballet)and we finish that on May 12th.YAY!
    Next year both girls are going to try riding lessons at a VERY local stable around the block form one of MY best friends...Hey Mommys need play dates too!
    Thanks for the chuckle on the warning lable. The PC crown is SUCH a downer!
    Pax, EJT

  12. AnonymousMay 04, 2008

    You are HILARIOUS!!! This is the first time I have ever read your blog, and I think "Raising kids on the cheap" is darn near the funniest thing I have ever read. I have added you to the coveted "Toolbar Favorites." I can't wait to read more.

  13. Do you mind if I use your post title "No One Vomited Day" as the name of my first novel. I think it would really sell.

  14. I think the vomit was saved for me! My sister's baby barfed all down my shirt today. Yep, right between the boobs. I'm with you on the "being busy" thing. I have neither the time, the inclination, or the money to have my girls signed up for everything under the sun.

  15. Boredom is good for kids. Turns them into creative spirits.

    Awesome about the vomit update.

  16. So, could we sue Wily Coyote when our 4-year-old pushes a pile of pillows together as a roadblock to attempt to keep us from getting to the baby after naptime? Is there any chance of a big class action lawsuit here? Cuz I don't think the warning labels are binding in court, right?

  17. OK, that political correctness thing has just gone too far. They are talking DOWN to us for God's sake. As if we are idiots that will turn into racists after watching Looney Tunes.

    Glad vomit is not there.

    I'm into not overscheduling,too. Craziness. Can my BOY come to your house and shoot squirt guns at birds?

  18. Congrats on the day without vomit.
    and good luck with the grackles (isn't kidspeak fun? my kids were calling each other googles for a week and thought it was so amazing one day when they saw the google website, they thought they had made it up)

  19. It's nice to know that we're not the only cheap and lazy parents in the world. We limit the kids to very few activities and hear our fair share of bored whining.

    So glad nobody is vomiting. I've got a barfer home today and can only be thankful that he, too, avoided the tuna last night.

  20. I submit that the vulgar racial stereotypes in Looney Toons can be used as a springboard to a discussion of World War II.

    It's educational. So there.

  21. AnonymousMay 05, 2008

    Glad to know the vomiting is done for a spell.
    Yikes! Those summer "enrichment" opportunities can just suck the life out of a family, can't they?

  22. AnonymousMay 05, 2008

    Glad no-one's throwing up. Would love to see you, but when I check my calendar, I'm next available in July ...

  23. You had me at "no one vomited today"...

    We have that DVD set and are systematically ruining our childrens brains with them. They are FUNNY but we only laugh out of politeness too.

    I have the same theory on assuring the kids are bored. Just so they have something to pinpoint all their troubles on later when they are in therapy.

  24. AnonymousMay 05, 2008

    I am right there with you on the overscheduling. It's such a way of life here, that WE are abnormal bceause the kids are not in every activity offered. We do have to schedule those playdates a month in advance though. And just going outside and seeing if the neighbors can play? That's one thing that my kids will NEVER know about. It jsut doesn't happen here. :)

  25. My 12 yr old is a girl scout. She and my 10 yr old son play on the same little league team. The 5school aged kids still at home all have religious education classes during the school year.

    They have nothing else scheduled. The 12 yr old wants to go back to karate, also. Sorry, can't afford that and the 3 car payments, mortgage, utilities and food. She'll just have to find a babysitting job to pay for any fun extra stuff she wants to do.