Saturday, November 28, 2009

Kenny Rogers Would Understand

Have I mentioned that, when it comes to games, I'm a tad competitive? I've made Rachel cry at UNO; Larry's pathetic lack of interest in things like cards and backgammon and Yahtzee is a source of conflict in our marriage; and I've got an ineradicable need to win at Monopoly, due to my brother's never, ever losing a game to me while growing up. Given my proclivity for this sort of thing, it's no surprise that our family's peaceful Thanksgiving Day was made more complete (in my opinion) with a game of Texas Hold 'Em for me and the children. Because what's a holiday without a little gambling?

Brian, unfortunately, drove us all crazy by betting randomly, refusing to absorb any of the strategy of the game. He would put in 20 dollars, we'd all fold, and he'd win with literally nothing in his hand. I would call him a good bluffer, but he doesn't know enough about the game to do that. At the close of betting, he puts his hand down and asks, "Do I have anything?" I cannot believe this kid is my son.

4-year-old Susie, much to my disappointment, is a tad conservative. She folded with a pair of queens when she could have won the hand. Caught up in the excitement of the moment (see above re competitive), I yelled, "I can't believe you did that! Never fold with a pair of queens!" Which made Susie, in all her fat cuteness and her little girl tights and pretty party dress, cry. She cried. And cried. And cried. Big, fat, sloppy tears rolling down her cheeks and splashing on my hands while I begged her to stop before Larry heard her.

But she wouldn't stop, because she was so ashamed (I'm guessing) of her poor poker decision-making. Larry, however, (who did come running and witnessed her humiliation) seems to think that it had something to do with her mother traumatizing her.

Look, I don't care if she's only four. It's never too soon to know when to hold, know when to fold 'em...



What is it about that song, anyway? Gets me every time...

13 comments:

  1. I love it. Our family's favorite card games are Scum and BS. I'm not a patient person when it comes to cards either. The game needs to move fast or I'm out.

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  2. Thanks a lot for the ear worm...

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  3. I made my daughter cry on Friday because I am a terrible winner, and was a little too happy about having reclaimed the title of 'Punch Buggy Queen'

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  4. Crack me up. I'm uber competitive as well, but I don't think I've ever made my child cry over it...twice. lololol

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  5. Yeah, our family "bonding times" over games usually come to tears or blows at some point! LOL...I can just picture your daughter. Bet she grows up to be just like you ;)

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  6. You do not want to play Spoons with me. Your chances of "pulling back a bloody stump," as my family puts it, are very high.

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  7. Ah, this made me laugh so much. Game night at our house is a nightmare because we are ALL that competitive. And Kenny sure would understand!

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  8. Yeah, we kick the crybabies to their rooms in our house. And we gloat when we win. You'd get along JUST FINE at my house, SC. Susie needs to toughen up. You'll make a stud player out of her yet.

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  9. there's nothing like a few tears to toughen her up in the long run.

    next, try the "neener neener" technique. works every time.

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  10. We can't play poker at our house. Mr. G. suffers from your affliction. There was always yelling at some point in the game.

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  11. Brian plays poker the way my 13yo plays Apples to Apples; it's crazy, but the darn kid wins!
    Anytime you want to join us for a card game (Oh, Heck! is our favorite), c'mon over to our house!

    And, um, I've got a form of backgammon that you could use that I'm sure would win Larry over to the joys of that game.

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  12. That was funny. And kooky. And they say I'm weird.

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  13. Love Kenny - especially pre-surgery Kenny. I haven't made my children cry but I have to consciously repress my resentment of them when they win. Robert and I don't play Othello/Reversi anymore; something about my getting mad at his winning everytime after I taught him how to play. It's been 12 years since we played a game and I really don't see that changing.

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