Thursday, November 23, 2017

Too Stuffed To Think Of A Title

Around 10 PM last night (Thanksgiving Eve), fed up with the low level of help I was receiving from fellow members of my household, I decided that my family was composed of ingrates who didn't deserve the lovely holiday dinner I had been spending most of the week cooking for them. I vacuumed loudly to share my displeasure; and by the time I was done, not only did I have a clean floor and staircases, I also felt calm enough to compose a complete list of chores to be done NOT BY ME the next day.

Moral: Never underestimate the problem-solving power of passive-aggressive vacuuming.

It also helped when I then sat down and logged onto Facebook, where approximately half the middle-aged women I know were complaining of the same thing. Solidarity, ladies! Shoulder to shoulder, we march on, planning the festivities and making sure that our children have something to remember besides (hopefully) that their mother always seemed strangely cranky on holidays.

Rachel took care of these, thank goodness

So today went well! Brian and Rachel together managed to cook, rice, and mash 10 lbs of potatoes. They all emptied and loaded the dishwasher a zillion times, plus washed pots and pans. Susie prepared the hors d'oeuvres (cheese plate, cut-up veggies, dip, potato chips) while I ran around picking up clutter. Rachel dished out the cranberry sauce, gravy, and applesauce for the table. Brian and Susie made the salad (hey, I needed SOMETHING green). Susie fluffed the stylish couch pillows.

In short? I made it to the dinner table without feeling like a martyr, and I feel great about that. Apparently, it pays to just order people around. I need to remember this at Christmas.

And, people, I have no idea how some of you cook everything for this holiday on the same day. All I had to prepare today was mashed potatoes and turkey and gravy, and I didn't sit down for hours. Amazon added to the general stress level by letting me down - you see, on TUESDAY, I ordered extra forks and some brand new cloth napkins that had free one-day shipping. I figured, worst-case scenario, I'd get them Wednesday.

It's 8 PM on Thanksgiving evening, and they're still not here. Luckily, I had some pretty yellow IKEA paper napkins that we used at dinner instead. We're so classy.

IKEA napkin holder, too!

I'm rambling, but OMG this day was long. I walked one of my guests home and when I came back in the door, I said to Susie, "Shouldn't you be upstairs taking your shower? It's LATE." 

Turns out, it was only 6 PM. No wonder she looked confused...


  1. That's how I felt at 7:00. My mom grabbed a dark chocolate and I said "should you be eating that this late? Won't it keep you awake?" (My mom is a notorious insomniac) She just kind of glanced at the clock and looked back at me. Heh. It took me until 1:00 pm just to set up the tables today. I was wiped out before anyone got here. Your dishes look cute!

    1. Those are some plates I got on the clearance shelf at Target a number of years ago - I was so happy! But now we are down to 5 of them, and they have a lot of chips on the edges (granite counters, kids doing dishes), so I'm going to have to start hunting for another bargain.

  2. That's the one thing we did not miss yesterday - the stress of getting everything done. I'm glad you made those other people to shoulder the burden!

  3. I was not hosting, probably because WE HAVE NO KITCHEN. Besides I am not usually asked to host when we have Irish dancing championships looming this weekend. Eddie pointed out just for fun that I am ALWAYS in a bad mood on holidays- yesterday not included. He took advantage of my calm-no-need-to-do-too-much mood to accuse me of this bad holiday mom behavior. They don't get it - I am not in a bad mood on holidays, I am OVERWORKED!!! FRAZZLED!!! FLYING SOLO!!! They never understand how important it is for them to pitch in and help out.

    Amazon failed me recently too. It kept trying to charge a credit card that didn't belong to me. Because I had already placed the order it wouldn't let me go in and adjust the billing. There are buttons to click to lead you to the change the billing page - but once you get there after the order has been placed, nothing can be done. Super frustrating! I had to wait until the computer generated email came out saying I needed to update my card. UM, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO - NOW SEND ME MY DAMN GLUTEN FREE CEREAL BEFORE I GNAW MY OWN ARM OFF!!! Honestly.

  4. The fact that it gets so dark so early doesn't help much either. I felt EXHAUSTED driving B home from Iowa last night--and it was only 7:30.

  5. Passive-aggressive vacuuming for the win!
    Life has definitely intervened and slowed me down in the holiday preparations department. Toe surgery (with Frankenboot and elevation needs) 5 years ago helped me let go of some of my holiday control issues; I was still stressed but I couldn't force anyone to accomplish what I thought was needed. Then 2 years ago, I spent 6 weeks either on my back or on the sofa with my leg elevated, all while on some major pain medication -- so not only did I not have the ability to enforce standards, I didn't care! Now I just hurt, but everyone else has learned to pick up the slack.
    Winter darkness has me wanting to go to bed at 7:30 every night. It's been growing dark at 3pm while I'm still at work. Blech!

  6. My passive-aggressive moment was with the dirty dishes last week. I banged cupboard doors, put away the pots and pans as noisily as I could. By the time I was done the kitchen was spotless and my rage was done. Though it wasn't Thanksgiving here in Canada, it was an argument over Christmas that brought it on. Damn holidays!

  7. I am always amazed at how well my kids do things when I ask for their help. But usually I just end up doing everything myself and then huffing around the way good martyrs do.

  8. haha. I hate when that happens with the Amazon orders. We went to my brothers at 3 and left at 6:30 and I was really shocked when I saw what time it was. I thought it was at least 9:30.