Thursday, January 17, 2008

Giant Mice! Missing Husbands! Prehistoric Computers!

Apparently, things could be worse on the rodent-infestation front, from what I read in this news piece - at least the ones in our house are a manageable size. And an added bonus: I haven't come downstairs in the morning to find a mouse sitting on my kitchen counter, the way my neighbor did yesterday. So, really, I have nothing to complain about.

Let me say something nice about my teenage daughter Anna (for once). She has magnificent hair. Utterly stunning, streaked with varying shades of gold and brown and thick and wavy as a lion's mane. It is hair to die for. Hair that women spend hundreds of dollars trying to imitate. So, naturally, she spent the better part of last year trying to straighten it so it would hang limp and flat against the sides of her head.

I am happy to report that she has given up this lost cause and has instead turned to the myriad hair products out there that accentuate the curl while damping down any unattractive frizz. In fact, we haven't actually seen Anna in days. Occasionally I slip some food under the bathroom door, where she has sequestered herself in her quest for the perfect curl. Theo, meanwhile, is taking bets on whether a person can actually wear out a mirror.

My children keep baking goodies that tempt me to fall off the Weight Watcher's wagon. Anna made brownies several days ago (before she consecrated her life to hair gels), and tonight David whipped up a batch of chocolate chip cookies. Of course, Anna does hate me for existing; and I'm sure David hasn't gotten over the trauma I inflicted on him this week. What I'm saying is, I don't believe for a second that these are instances of innocent culinary activity. Revenge baking, is more like it.

Larry is still away. He is going to come back on Friday saying how he had to work really hard and it really wasn't any fun at all going to Europe and staying in hotels and eating in restaurants for work purposes, and I may just have to kill him. But only after he orders the new computer, though. I'm not sure what to get, or I would have one already. Instead, I'm still working with this old set-up that looks and acts like something on the Flintstones (I mean, if the Flintstones had had a computer) (which isn't so unrealistic, when you consider that they possessed a vacuum cleaner, okay?). I half-expect a little man to pop out from the back of the monitor with a handful of crayons and yell at me for making him draw too fast.

It occurs to me that I hyperlink too much (I'm a hyper hyperlinker, in fact); but everything I talk about here has such an involved history, and I want to make sure that newbies know what is going on. And speaking of newbies....

I'd like to say "Howdy!" to all the reviewers popping over here from humor-blogs.com. Make yourselves at home and make sure you read more than just the January posts, because, quite frankly, the funny stuff happened in October and December. It's all there: the puke, the Halloween costume ordeals, the joy of the vastly-overrated holidays....Or check out the Popular Posts to the left for some earlier laughs. It's all free!

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24 comments:

  1. My 8 year old son has model hair. It's this crazy thick wavy golden blond stuff. People can't keep their fingers out of it.

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  2. Yay, for letting the hair curl! My daughter gave into it last year. Your daughter sounds lovely.

    I'm not buying any of Larry's crap...I want to go to Europe!

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  3. Oh the world of teenagers. I don't think we'll ever quite figure them out. Mine has thick blond hair which I just finished staightening for her (it's naturally super curly). She also wants to die her hair brown (she's crazy). But anyway, we still love these crazy people somehow!

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  4. My Beastie and your Anna could be reeeal good friends. Our entire household's evening and morning routines revolve around whether Beastie has decided to wear her hair straight or curly the upcoming school day.

    Now, the revenge baking temptation I can't identify with. My kids don't do that kind of thing. Or maybe they do, but I don't know it because I'm always in my room on the computer. Can you move your Flinstone model to a place far from the kitchen? Sounds like a viable WW trick, doesn't it? (Btw, I officially joined today!)

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  5. My favourite line from all of blogoland today:

    "I half-expect a little man to pop out from the back of the monitor with a handful of crayons and yell at me for making him draw too fast."

    Brilliantly hilarious.

    Heidi

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  6. My sons have the most amazing eyelashes. Not fair at all.

    As for the hyperlinks. I am not keen myself but I don't have to click on them if I don't want to, do I? I wonder how people use them though? Do they click on each as they go through and completely lose the thread of what you are saying? Or do they go back to them at the end? Or do they not read a word you write and just click on the links to see where they go? I rather think they should be used sparingly - like cayenne pepper!

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  7. hi,

    perhaps I should be braver and click on a few eh? I wasn't getting at you or being critical. If it seemed that way, then I apologise.

    I suppose I feel that a piece should stand on its own and be able to be read by anyone who comes along. But yes, I can see that it is often useful to know a bit of background and people use their blogs in different ways anyway.

    I have been known to use the odd hyperlink myself. I'm just a boring old purist - I only concentrate on the words, rarely give a glance to people's sidebars or photos and prefer not to be distracted.

    I like your writing style!

    I shall go away now before I put my foot in my mouth yet again!

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  8. Hate to break it to you, but Anna's fight to find the perfect curl will not end when she leaves her teens behind. Alas, I'm still battling the frizz. People yell at me for straightening mine as well, always have. I have to disagree. Who would PAY for a mop of FRIZZ? Now with my four hoodlums hanging off of my legs, it's like a circus act trying to iron my hair... I'm still hoping to find the perfect curl before the mirror falls off the wall in exhaustion! Let me know if she finds a good gel! :)
    Oh, and I love the hyperlinks! I think if I like a writer, I'll probably like the links she likes! I'm bound to get myself in trouble at work with my ADD hyper-linking, though! So far, so good! ;)

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  9. Ah, revenge baking. Don't let them take you down!

    Teens are ever and ever so fun. I'll be stalking your blog for tips on how to deal with this set of people.

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  10. A friend of ours pointed out that it is only 2 more hours in the air to fly to Paris then it is to fly to California from here, so why not go to Paris? Great idea, we went for Christmas the following year.

    DG

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  11. p.s. I love cayenne pepper as well... and not always sparingly. Maybe that's why I like the hyperlinks? ;)

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  12. Ooh, frizzy hair, I know what that's all about. That's a never ending battle, even with all those fancy and expensive products out there. Hyperlink away, it's always better to have too many links than to leave all the newbies clueless (besides, Diesel's memory isn't so hot, according to a recent post of his... you wouldn't want the poor guy to feel left out, now would you?)

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  13. We never end up with the hair we like, huh? Why is that?

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  14. I'm not for sure how I ended up on your blog, but you have given me a GREAT laugh for today!

    I have 3 daughters, one is 15 and spends alot of time on herself also!

    Thanks for the nice visit!

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  15. My daughter is 10 and wants highlights. She already has natural, beautiful highlights, which I have pointed out to her. Her answer, "they need to be highlighted MORE!" Um, the answer is still N.O.!

    We all have naturally bone straight hair... we spend our time trying to CURL ours instead of having it lay their all limp. Best of luck to Anna in finding the perfect curl :-)

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  16. Hey, I wish someone would do some revenge baking around here.

    On the other hand, I'm impressed by the 2.5 pound loss. Good for you!

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  17. Super-curly since birth. After RC was born, I resorted to a straightening iron resulting in MUCH OF MY HAIR FALLING OUT. So it's back to curly now. Don't tell her this if you don't want to spend the money but Matrix has a great line for reducing frizz but keeping curl. It's in the orange bottles and tubes.

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  18. I have been blog lurking tonight and you are the second post that I have read that I found myself alone sitting at the computer smiling like crazy!! If someone were to walk by and see me they would think about committing me somewhere. (haha) love the stuff about your teens I only have one at the moment but I can relate to everything you said.
    Blessings,
    Linda

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  19. My daughter's into the scrunching and curling thing too. When she was straightening her hair, the hair care alone took and hour a day. Holy cow.

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  20. Howdy! I'm not from there, wherever there is, but you did come to visit my blog and so I'm here to reciprocate.

    I had a mouse under my kitchen sink, stuck to one of those sticky traps . . . I ignored it until my readers told me that it might gnaw off its leg and leave a bloody trail in my house . . . ACK!

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  21. I hope my Gigio lets his curls go free again someday too.

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  22. I own that book already, about the Curly Girls. I think that is where I learned that when you are drying your hair, DON'T TOUCH IT! DOOOOONNNNN'TTTTT!

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  23. Popped on over here from :HILDE- Birdsnest and Beehives, after seeing that huge glob of hair she got out of her drain.

    YOU ARE FUNNY! No wonder you guys comment back and forth so often. (Oh, I'm Hilde's crazy mom who wants to build her own plywood casket.)

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