Thursday, January 01, 2009

Fail Safe

All right! Stop right now! Raise your hands above your head and back slowly away from your keyboard....

Every blogger and her uncle, it seems, is posting New Year's Resolutions today. Lose weight, be more organized, pay more attention to your kids? Ah, you foolish, foolish souls...why would you set yourselves up for failure like that?

For the coming year, I firmly resolve to...

  1. Maintain my current (over)weight.
  2. Studiously ignore my children at least 2 hours every day
  3. Make sure to have a minimum of 10 knitting projects started at all times, with fully half of them not findable at any given moment. Finish projects only when absolutely necessary.
  4. Take thousands more pictures, but only edit a minimal number (say, when a small child asks, "What does Grandma look like again?")
  1. Breathe loudly near my teen daughter. She likes that.
  2. Refuse to number lists properly. If Blogger wants me to count to 4 and then start over again, who am I to argue?
  3. Oversleep.
  4. Waste time blogging.

My motto this year: Success is mine in 2009.

Pin It

28 comments:

  1. I, in fact, did NOT post any kind of resolution thankyouverymuch. Feel free to be entertained...or at least roll your eyes. There's no semblance of normalcy, so that should count for something.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was fully prepared to not make any New Year's resolutions this year (because I don't believe in that stuff. I would only be setting myself up for failure) however, after reading your list, I think I will use it as my own.
    Except the knitting part. I don't knit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. now this? this is a set of resolutions that speak to me.

    loudly.

    rock on, girlfriend!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're, like, my hero.

    (I'm not making any big resolutions, either...)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Works for me! Of course, as a happy empty-nester, I will have to come up with replacements for the breathing-loudly part and the ignore-for-two-hours part.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Did you know your motto rhymes? It took me a bit to figure that out. I now expect you to finish every post with a rhyme in 2009.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AWESOME! But since when is Blogging "wasting time"??!! I've been counting this as Continuing Learning Education Credits! ooops....

    ReplyDelete
  8. hLove it! I think I want those for my resolutions too! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy New Year! May you find great success in your goals [smile].

    ~Luke

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh it seems we operate similarly.

    Why even make a resolution when I am sure as hell I will never keep it?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks. I just spit my coffee.

    I have to go breathe on my daughter now, to see if she likes it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think you are well on the road to success.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL! Love this post. And no, I did not post any resolutions. Neither did my uncle.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congrats on an excellent list of resolutions.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm one of the ever-hopeful souls who try to resolve a few things. Most of them are things I've already got into the habit of doing and just need to continue. I'm certainly not going to doom myself to failure by resolving to give up chocolate or anything insane like that.

    I think I CAN ignore my children and forget to edit my photos. I can't knit, but I can have multiple unfinished scrapbook projects. You're truly an inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Here's to success in 2009! Atta girl!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I hope to floss more often, but I'm not crazy enough to write it down on my own blog... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sounds like a plan to me. I may have to steal your idea since I didn't even make it to post any resolutions.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I may take up knitting just so I can hang with you and your resolutions.

    ReplyDelete
  20. No way. I'm not making any this year...not a single one.

    TEN projects? I bow to you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Awesome list. I have a list that will publish in the morning. I fully expect to have forgotten what is on my list by the end of next week, thus saving me any of that icky guilt.

    ReplyDelete
  22. No resolutions for me. When one is perfect one doesn't need resolutions. Of course I'm not one I'm two.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love, love, love reading your blog!! Great resolutions....

    ReplyDelete
  24. I did not make any resolutions, just gonna break them

    ReplyDelete
  25. Except for the knitting, I think I can manage that list! (Would craft projects and assorted responsibilities count in place of the knitting?)

    I'm one of those bloggers who DIDN'T attempt such a list.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I hereby resolve to go to your blog when I need a good laugh to lighten things up a bit. Thank you for this!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Last year as a joke I said "I'm gonna gain 25 pounds this year" on a friends home video. It's the first time I have ever kept a New Year's Resolution, so be careful what you wish for it just might come true...

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin