Monday, October 31, 2011

I Am The Queen Of Halloween

We only had three trick-or-treaters this year in our household (David didn't think it was worth it to hop around the neighborhood on a crutch when he could just pilfer his younger siblings' candy).  I'd like to tell you what the youngest 3 kids' costumes were; but every time I try to do just that, I end up typing, "A witch, a pirate, and a Viking walked into a bar...."

Brian made his own Viking hat out of craft sticks and duct tape and it was AWESOME.

I realized tonight that Larry has taken our kids out trick-or-treating 18 years in a row.  No wonder it seems a tad repetitive at this point...

We had 30 trick-or-treaters come to our door (including my 3).  Not bad, but still nowhere near our counts of 65 that we used to get years ago.  The problem is these stupid church parties and "trunk-or-treats" that well-meaning adults are sponsoring on Halloween night.  People, listen to me.  The fun part of Halloween is doing stuff that you normally don't do - including (but not limited to) wandering around outside after dark in weird costumes, knocking on people's doors, and taking candy from strangers.  Driving your precious offspring to your well-lighted church or school gymnasium and letting them grab candy from one large receptacle is not Halloween.  It's coddling.

NOT a Halloween treat
And don't even get me started on the neighbor who hands out apples every single year.  Honey, get with the program.  As stated in this blog before, the "H" doesn't stand for "healthy."

Someone this year was handing out leftover Easter candy.  That's just plain tacky.

And, no, I don't know who died and left me in charge of Halloween.  But I'm taking to the role just fine, thanks.

[Jack-o-lantern image: Cyber Cauldron]
[Apple image: Long Island Press]


  1. I got you beat--someone here was handing out leftover Christmas candy. But I can't complain--we have to borrow a neighborhood, since our dark, windy country road on which people regularly double up on the posted speed limit is not trick-or-treatable. The one time of year I wish we lived in an actual neighborhood is Halloween. But lots of people borrow neighborhoods around here, and our borrowed one is full of very nice people.

  2. We don't even live in a neighborhood where it's possible to trick or treat, but I *still* have never taken my kids to a trunk or treat. Never. And then there's this new whole Jesusween thing. THAT is the one thing that I don't get.

  3. I agree! Half our neighborhood was dark last night because they were all at the Trunk or Treat at the local park. WTF?! That's not real trick-or-treating! I appreciate a Trunk or Treat when Halloween falls on a Sunday (because of religious reasons, obviously), but why do people think we have to have one EVERY YEAR?

    One more thing I hate (thanks for inciting my rage, lol): the stupid people that think it's funny to jump out in a werewolf costume and scare little kids. Some idiot did that last night to my 7 year old daughter and she was in tears for 20 minutes and wanted to go home. Jerk!

    I like the "cute" Halloween. Not the scary crap.

  4. I agree with you! Our numbers were down this year for the second or third year in a row. I used to enjoy Halloween almost as much as my kids, and part of the fun was seeing the fun they were all having. Unfortunately, they all grew up and I miss the little people they used to be!

  5. I am in 100% agreement with you on this topic. Skipping out on the ULTIMATE neighbor-fest of Halloween is sleazy and wrong-minded. Citizens, UNITE and take back the streets! It's about CANDY, COSTUME and CAMARADERIE with our COMMUNITY!
    (If you need a spokesperson for the midwest, I'll be your gal.)

  6. I am also 100% in agreement! I think that whole trunk-or-treat thing is a lot more warping for kids than actually getting out into the neighborhood and realizing that your neighbors are NOT all axe-murderers, just waiting to eat up little kids in Halloween costumes. And the people who avoid trick-or-treating because they think Halloween is some satanic holiday are the truly scary people in a neighborhood.

  7. Totally agree here too. I mean, I'll do the other stuff, especially if it's scheduled on other days, like the Trick or Treat street that was at the high school on Saturday. But Halloween night is definitely for roaming the neighborhood and running around like suger-induced nutcases. Which my child did.
    It occurred to me last night that I had been chaperoning a group of trick-or-treaters every year for the past 18 years. Last night was my first night staying at home. My 9 year-old went with neighbors, and my 16 year-old went to, God help me, a Skrillex concert. If you don't know, just consider yourself lucky. Now I know exactly how my parents felt when they heard the music I was listening to and said, "What the HELL is that NOISE?" Except in my case, it was Van Halen, and in my daughter's case it's just...gah. I don't even know what, but it makes my ears bleed. Thank goodness I was at home with wine and snickers, watching the new episode of House.

  8. Down to 20 kids last night (2 were my own) but just 3 mere blocks away, a man reported 75 trick-or-treaters. His house was appropriately decorated to the hilt; my neighborhood was lame. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.
    I let my children wander the dark neighborhood without me, with no lights or weapons beyond their lightsabers. I figure between a Sith and a Jedi, they were safe. Right?!?
    Besides, the fun is in doing something we'd never let them do on a normal night.

    Now I must satisfy myself with snitching from their candy haul (which was significant). Good thing I'm leaving for the weekend, or the 300+ pieces of candy would be gone too quickly.

  9. Also, my husband has pointed out that the best neighborhoods for trick-or-treating are usually lower middle-class 'burbs. They are the ones who know how to have fun, decorate to the hilt, and be generous with the candy, too.
    Don't ask my why, but it appears to be true in our town.

  10. I completely agree with you about the Trunk or Treat thing. We did this for the first time with our church. First of all, it took all the fun out of actual Halloween because they held it the Friday before. Secondly, the only thing it taught the kids was how to be as rudely, greedy as possible when grabbing candy from the back of unattended car trunks. They weren't even required to say 'thank you.' It was awful. Thirdly, as if kids don't ingest enough candy from one night of Halloween, now they have two enormous piles of crap to gorge on. I felt like such a Scrooge witnessing the whole thing. Thoroughly disgusted with misguided adults who ruin everything. Never, ever doing that again!

  11. I don't even want to know what Jesusween is. Good gravy.

  12. LOL there weren't that many kids around our neighborhood either. Weird!! Usually there are tons! My husabnd said we need to organize a kick off point and get all the kids to go together at once. Sounds like fun to me!

    Someone actually gave away apples to my son. My husband thinks we should throw it away lol.

    My daughter got a rock wrapped in wrapping paper....

  13. I blame all the helicopter parents. Jesusween, if I find the person who made that up I'll nail THEIR ass to a cross.

    And I don't even have kids!

  14. Our neighborhood was filled..........I think I was more excited than the kids when at one house they got a CAPRI SUN AND A KING SIZE CANDY BAR (Due to budgeting and trying to be healthy we are a milk and water only house :)! There were actually 3 houses that were giving out the king size candy....oh my how I love the thrill and excitement of good old fashioned trick or treating