Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Kale Safe

Having had Mrs. Ohtobe throw down the gauntlet, as it were, by saying that she was looking forward to seeing that bag of kale again on my next fridge clean-out day, I thought, "I'll show her!  I'll cook the darn thing and feed it to my unsuspecting family."  Forgetting, of course, what I always tell my children: never take a dare.

Folks, that stuff was so bad, the children didn't even cry.  They just sort of sat there, puzzled.  I made a game attempt to eat my portion, but it took me forever to finish the first mouthful. 

Chewy.  Limp, but chewy. 

I tried a second forkful and started to gag. 

"Maybe you should have cooked it some more," suggested David.

"It looks cooked..." I defended myself.  Sheesh, everyone's a critic...

"More garlic would be a good idea, too," he said.  "And add it at the end, so you can really taste it.  What sort of oil did you use, anyway?"

Who does that kid think he is, Emeril? 

[Emeril photo credit: VittlesVamp]


  1. This is why you should teach the kids to cook, and have them make dinner.
    Then you can be the food critic.

  2. Ok, do you want a great idea for kale? My pickiest kid loves it...but I hesitate to suggest recipes unless solicited. I've got a good one should you want it. :)

  3. @Monica - Yeah, I'll never learn. Go ahead, tell me.

  4. Actually, Jillybean, I have taught him to cook. That is the problem.

  5. *snort* I love it!

    Tragically, my mother never saw a food she didn't like -- including boiled okra. Just okra, boiled. Oh sure, it's spiny and woody on the outside, but on the inside, it's full of round, slimy, bitter seeds. I can't imagine what my mother was thinking...

  6. Here you go! I've used this many times, always with just olive oil and salt. Yum.


  7. This reminds me of a fresh vegetable soup my husband made in the VitaMix. Neither of us could finish a serving.

    Dinner wasn't coming fast enough tonight for the 11yo, so he and his older brother cooked Ramen and added chopped hot dogs. They also served carrots and glasses of milk. I was just grateful I didn't have to cook!

  8. Reminds me of the time I cooked kale in oatmeal and served it to my husband. He's quite vocal about that being the worst meal I've ever made (and I've made a LOT of bad ones).

  9. If you toss pieces of kale in olive oil and lay them on a cookie sheet, sprinkle it with salt or a seasoning salt and bake -very briefly- until the edges get a little brown, you get some pretty good chips. Eat right away- humidity makes them droopy and no one wants a droopy chip!

    Otherwise, I saute it with olive oil and garlic or put it in a sausage & white bean soup we love.

  10. My girlfriend loved her kale like this recipe. http://www.suite101.com/content/roasted-kale-a25130 She said it was like chips.

  11. Their reaction to kale is priceless stuff--worth whatever you paid for that bag!

  12. Kaling them softly with your song . . .


    Did everyone at least try a bite?

    There was a cheers episode where one of them invented or financially backed a new veggie drink and everyone hated it because it tasted like kale. Except for Woody, who gleefully exclaimed "This is great! You can really taste the kale."

  13. Yes, kale chips is the way to go. Here's another recipe: http://smittenkitchen.com/2010/03/baked-kale-chips/

  14. This is why I stopped going to the Farmer's Market. There are all sort of strange vegetables that look so interesting. SO I buy them and bring them home. Then I have to figure out a way to cook them. Then I have to watch my children writhe on the ground at the suggestion that they actually eat beets/swiss chard/okra.

    We're going to stick to frozen corn.

  15. I agree with the kale chip recommendation. It also works really well with chard.

  16. Tell Emeril and his producers, Kale no, we won't go. We're going to stay home and watch Okra on the telly.