Monday, October 11, 2010

Old Jokes Never Die

Rachel and Susie have a new hobby.  There's nary a trip in the car I can take without having one or both of their voices pipe up from the back seat:

"Mommy! Stop!  There's a STOP sign!"

"Mommy! Did you put your blinker on?  Did you?"

"Mommy! Why did you turn there?  Don't we go straight?"

Perhaps a better mother than I would find this habit charming. She might even decide that it is amusingly precocious.  As for myself, however?  The backseat driving grates on me to the nth degree.

So! As we were driving David to science class the other day, I had to swerve (twice).  I winced as I did so, knowing that my evasive maneuvers would unleash a torrent of commentary from behind me.  I was right.

"Mommy! Why'd you do that?"

"Mommy!  What's that in the road?"

David, more patient than I ever will be, took over the job of explaining.  "There were some bags of mulch in the road," he told the girls.  "She didn't want to hit them."

"Mommy!  Why is there mulch in the middle of the road?"

Why is there mulch in the middle of the road?  Now there was a question I didn't mind answering.

"Because," I said, "it couldn't get to the other side."

Sometimes?  Life is good.

Image credit goes to ivman's blague - do click on that link, he has a slew of great chicken jokes and a funny newspaper clipping.


  1. I'm becoming the worst back seat driver lately. My oldest has her permit and scares the crap out of me everytime she drives!

  2. I actually love it when the kids get their driver permits and stop questioning MY driving. It's much more fun to question THEIR driving.

  3. I once asked my mother how it was that she wasn't allowed to hit the "Presbyterians".

    The sign said, "Yield to Pedestrians."

  4. Great answer!

    My standard response to anything along the lines of "Why is that lady's hair purple?" is "She didn't tell me".

  5. Oh yeah, that adds a whole new level of FUN to backseat driving!

  6. After a while, I start making up answers. "I was trying to avoid the baby ducks." As a 48-year-old mom of non-neurotypical children, I'm tired, so I lie a lot. I also like to mess with their minds. When they correct me and tell me it was a branch in the road, I just say, "Then why did you ask?"

    I also pull out the "do you want to walk home" line sometimes.

    I'm evil. I also just got back from a 1000-mile road trip with them, so I'm still a little chippy.