Sunday, December 09, 2007

Cannot Think Of Title To Save My Life

Never did get those packages mailed. But they're not eaten either. So that's good. I think I'll send Larry to the post office with them tomorrow. He'll enjoy the relative peace and quiet there.

Today we were expecting dinner guests for Chanukah, which meant it was time for Larry to start yet another home improvement project. He decided today was as good a time as ever to climb up to the roof and nail the gutters back into the side of the house. The job took a while, since Larry decided that, as long as he was up there, he should clean the leaves out of the gutters also. He stopped short of reshingling the roof, but I know he thought about it. Meanwhile I spent the day cleaning the house by hiding all our extra crap (including those unmailed packages of cookies and fudge) in our bedroom and trying to cook a decent dinner.

Theo escaped the chaos we call home to go to his training session at the bookstore. He watched many scintillating videos instructing him on the finer points of customer service. He also learned how to subtly thwart shoplifters (i.e., without punching them in the gut and sitting on them until security arrives). Even though he was paid for the ordeal, Theo was not very inspired by the experience of sitting through badly-acted, corporate training films. I can't really blame him, as I still remember the films shown to me when I started working the Christmas rush at a department store 20 years ago: "World War II, and JCPenneys was there," the voiceover solemnly intoned. Now that's a company that takes itself pretty seriously.

We found some more stolen money on Rachel's dresser. Granted, she's only 5; but this proclivity towards larceny worries me. I don't know whether we should even bother to look at colleges for her, or just shop for the best prison instead. At least we won't have to worry about her SAT scores.

Susie likes Skittles. She ate many of them this evening, while the other kids gambled theirs in a game of dreidel. In fact, she ate so many, I'll betcha she's going to have colored poop in the morning. Who says nothing exciting ever happens around here?

Anna, that's who.


  1. My daughter used to eat crayons all the time. It was always a surprise to find out what color was going to come out in her diaper.

  2. There is nothing that is more fun than colored poop. If yo uget cupcakes from Food Lion - the blue and green ones you end up having an awesome colored poop. I know because I had 3 in diapers and had a birthday party for one of them (dont ask which one, because i dont have a clue, LOL) and all they could talk about (the two older of the three, and the older two) was how awesome the poop color was.

  3. My daughter magically appeared with $6 in change this morning. Not sure where it came from...but she was very happy. That's all that counts, right?!?

  4. My oldest still swipes all spare change she finds around the house. Once we had a guest from Sweden staying here, and she stole about $20 worth of euro coins off the guest room dresser. We had to open her huge piggy bank and fish them back out. Fortunately, our guest was a father or four, so he understood about sticky-fingered kids.

  5. I'm having a related problem with my oldest right now. They had a lesson on tithing at church and now she wants to give all of her money to God. And all of MY money. And so she's randomly stealing money out of my purse and turning it in as tithing at church. I'm like, honey, God doesn't want stolen money.

  6. Haha! You said colored poop. That's funny.
    My 5 year old has become quite the little thief as well. Only, he swipes everything he can get his hands on. Money, toothpicks, bottles of water, books, name it. I go in search every evening to find his stash.

  7. diesel - We parents have to take our excitement where we can get it.

    jennifer - Nothing? Nothing more fun than colored poop? I think you are one chick that gets out even less than I do.

    onthegomom - Check your purse.

    hokgardner - Oh, sure - but has he been back?

    sue - He doesn't? Damn.

    valarie - Bras? Boy, would that get my husband worried.

  8. My girls used to have interesting poop from Fruit Rollups. The blue raspberry kind.

    Oh, and our dog used to eat tinsel. It comes out the other end unchanged.

  9. When I was in high school, I got paid to be in one of those training films for Taco Bueno. I cleaned the same table for eight hours in order to instruct the employees on the proper cleaning techniques. We kept having to reshoot because I would forget to SMILE. Like, who SMILES when she's cleaning refried beans off of the table sides?

  10. I wandered in and now my sides hurt from laughing. Thanks. You've made my day.

  11. If she didn't get over stealing at age 4, she'll still be doing it when she's at least 8. I can't tell you beyond that yet...