Sunday, June 16, 2013

Dementia Diaries

Actually, this is probably the phone he was looking for.
Just a quick note tonight, because driving over 10 hours in one weekend makes me too tired to write a real post:

I spent this weekend visiting my dad and checking up on his care; while there, I had to reassure one of his (very concerned) neighbors that my brother was NOT, in fact, stealing all my father's money and taking away his phone so he couldn't call for help.

In other words, if you are going to let an elderly parent suffering from dementia take a walk around the block by himself?  You might want to find out what he is saying to people while he's out there.

[Phone image: Low-Tech Times]


  1. I spend a bit of time doing things for my mom (I'm the only sibling that's nearby} and as much as she loves and trusts me and is cheerful about the help, from time to time she writes eerie little notes (and hides them) that say things like "dead people don't need money or food" -and- "Jenny stole all the money out of my account". She has twice hidden her ATM card and then forgotten where. This time, I'm not arranging for another one; I just got one for me, since I buy all her groceries anyway. Now she'll have even more reasons to fear (even sporadically) that I'm stealing from her. Your dad's neighbor probably thinks the same things about HIS kids. I think I can say: Oh, yes. I know.

  2. Oh my goodness. I would hope that your father's neighbors will now know better than to believe anything he says about his care.

  3. AnonymousJune 17, 2013

    Oh no! But I can totally see that happening--some very vile things come out of my step-grandma's mouth and they are figments of her imagination.
    You are an incredible daughter to drive so far and check in on your dad.

  4. Ugh. I'm so sorry. My grandma once called me in a panic from her nursing home saying she didn't know where she was and nobody had consulted her on the move, that she had just been abandoned there, etc. I reminded her that we'd all talked about it for years and that her son had just been there and my mom was coming the next day.... She didn't believe me and hung up. Dementia is cruel for everyone involved.

  5. Trips like this are so hard. My thoughts are with you.